I’m so glad I’m such a faithful fan. My teams rewarded me this weekend like never before. All my hours of following them and watching their games exploded on my face like surprise facial. I have never enjoyed watching football less than I did this weekend. Michigan was as bad as we all thought they would be and the Browns did their best Michigan impression by sucky worst than The Citadel.
First the Browns. What a god awful, make-you-hate-yourself-for-being-a-fan game. The thing that sucked the most (besides the Derek Anderson sighting) was they were never out of the game. Just when you were about to turn off the TV and do something productive (or at least change the channel), they did something to make you think “OK, they can still pull this out.” The defense would cause a turnover or the offense put a couple first downs together. But it was all for nothing. They’d drive inside the Texans 20 but then the Browns offense would be overwhelmed by the outstanding Texans defense (who by the way are allowing the most points in the NFL) and turn the ball over. They were like the last kid left in dodgeball in middle school. The kid who never threw the ball, stood against the back wall just avoid balls and delay the inevitable. Everyone knows he’s not going to win and they start yelling at him to try and throw the ball and get someone on the other team out. But as soon as he tries anything and moves off the back wall, he gets drilled in the face and loses. That was the Browns. As much as we hoped they would do something, we knew it was only a matter of time before they got hit in the face and lost.
Just when Brady looked like he might be in a little bit of a rhythm, he gets intercepted on more of a good play by the defense than a poor throw from him. So what does the genius Chocolate Dumpling do? Sends in DA on the next series. What was the point of this? Let’s see what it accomplished. 1) That DA still sucks. 2) It doesn’t matter who the quarterback is, the Browns suck. 3) Gives no confidence to Brady in his coach and makes him question him. 4) What happens if DA plays good and leads the team to a win? Then is he your starter again? What would that have done to Brady? What has it already done to Brady? Just a horrible, horrible decision but by now we are used to those from The Chocolate Dumpling.
No wonder the Browns are offering $8 million a year to Bill Cowher. Hell, give him $12 million, ownership of the team, three cheerleaders and the right to punch any player.
Now for Michigan. Well, I guess we all so this coming. No surprise in the final score but I thought Michigan played well in the first half. They were just three plays away from being in the game or even leading at halftime. That first interception should have been returned for a TD or at least the offense should have scored off it. If Michigan scores on their last possession of the first half or first of the second when they moved the ball, who knows what happens. But that’s the whole season for the Blue; filled with if’s. The best thing about the game was that it was Michigan’s last. Rich Rod better go out and get his players now but he has proven he is an ass, now he has to prove he can coach, because he sure didn’t prove it this year. Not only was Michigan bad talent wise, they may have been the worst coach team in college football. The Chocolate Dumpling thought Rich Rod did a bad job this year.
And that was what a weekend of football was like for a Wolverine and Browns fan. It was almost as sucky as being locked in a room with Graig and W, not being able to talk and having to listen to them talk about Ohio State and the Redskins.
On the positive side though, the high school team I cover, Aurora, won Saturday night and is now in the Division III state championship game this Saturday.