What a crazy weekend. My emotions were all over the place. Up for a great Friday night date night turned boys night. Up after watching the HBO documentary on OSU-Michigan Saturday morning. Down after wasting four hours watching the game. Up after ripping on fat chicks at the bar. And up and down like 54 times watching the Browns game. Sit back and relax for an entertaining story from the weekend that was.
Friday night, the girlfriend and I went to dinner at Outback for a delicious steak. Then we went and saw American Gangster. A fantastic movie, go see it. On the way home, we stop at the local water hole to see one of my buddies for his birthday. While I playing a game of darts, the girlfriend realized she was the only girl and rightfully decided she wanted to go home but would come back and pick me up later. What a great girl. The night ended with me hitting three straight bulls-eyes to win a three team game of cut-throat cricket. It was a game the birthday boy wanted to bet shots on. Well his team lost. After putting shots on his tap (and before you say what a bunch of jerks for putting shots on the birthday boys tap, it really wasn’t his birthday and we were having a surprise party for him the next night) he had no idea why we were doing the shot. Even one minute after the shot I asked him how was the shot and he said “what shot?”
Happy Birthday Bubba.
Saturday, I woke up at 9 and went to Rosie’s house to watch the HBO documentary on Michigan-Ohio State. A very well done piece and it got me ready to go for the game. Unfortunately, that was as fired up as I got. A very boring game and I watched with very annoying people. Two of the Ohio State people there were the typical ignorant OSU fans who are blinded by all things not Scarlet and Gray. To make matters worse, they decided to smoke (not cigarettes). Now they think everything is funny and I couldn’
t take it anymore. I decided to throw beer on them, punch them each in the face, then tie them up together face to crotch. Of course, I never acted on that thought. I left instead. Boring, boring game and OSU will get smoked in the Rose Bowl (If they play for the national championship, college football is a joke).
After a much needed nap, I was ready to go again by 6:00. Picked up some beer, a Subway sandwich and went over to Rosie’s to play some Wii while we waited for Bub’s birthday surprise. Now what happened next won’t be appreciated without the pictures so as soon as I get them e-mailed to me, I will share them. I have this tendency to, for what ever reason, have my lips swell up in some allergic reaction. I felt it coming on and no Benadryl was going to stop it. This is like the fifth time it has happened and it’s quite a funny sight (still have no idea what causes it). This was by far the worse of all the times. My lips kept growing bigger and bigger and bigger until they looked like I was wearing wax lips. A normal person would never go out in public looking like this but I’m not normal so I said what the hell. I wasn’
t trying to impress anyone.
We go to the bar and of course I had to explain what was going on with my lips like 43 times. By then they weren’
t nearly as bad as they were an hour earlier. One girl even asked Rosie if I had something done to them. As the night went on, they went down.
We had several tables reserved with signs and balloons in the back of the bar. Of course this didn’t stop some trashy women from sitting at the end of one table. Maybe they couldn’t read the sign. But we let them sit there since they weren’t really bothering anything. Then, one of them popped a balloon. I was standing at the other end of the table and started yelling at them. “What do you think you’re doing? You can’t pop our balloons! This is a birthday party for my friend, those are his balloons and you pop them. You shouldn’t even be sitting at this table. That’s F’ed up.” She was just smiling flicking me off, obviously wasted. Then a fat chick with them said “well you’re face is F’ed up.” (Which is funny because it was true at the time) I respond, “well, you’re fat.”
At that point the girlfriend stepped in a pulled me away but the trio of witches kept yelling.
Maybe a half hour, 45 minutes, later, the women was going to try and pop another balloon. Seeing this, I reached over and grabbed the balloons. Then the fat chick came up to the balloons and tried biting one. I pulled them away again and said “This isn’t food. You can’t eat it.” More unpleasantries were exchanged. My buddy Jon grabbed a near empty basket of chicken fingers and fries and shoved it in the women’
s face. She hit it and fries went everywhere. Eventually, they left and went to the dance floor (which was right next to the tables).
The YMCA came on and the fat chick was trying to dance to it. Everytime she raised her arms, Jon would lift his and grab his triceps area, pointing out the flying fat on this women’
s arms. Fat chicks should not wear tank tops.
While most of this was going on, the girlfriend’s friend showed up and they went to the bar to do some shots. Turned out to be a bad decision. After a bunch of razz vodka and Sprite, the girlfriend wasn’t feeling so hot. She spent the rest of the night in the bathroom with her face resting on the toilet seat. Needless to say there was no more kissing after that. I’m still a little cautious about kissing her. I spent the rest of the night trying to get her out of the bathroom, twice getting kicked out of the women’
s room, and once getting girl punched for being in there. Thanks girlfriend.
The up-and-down emotional weekend was capped with the grand daddy of all emotional games, the Browns verse Ravens. Skip ahead to the final game-tying kick. I have never been so anxious, nervous about what was going to happen. I first saw shades of last weeks 52-yard field goal coming up short. Not this time. It had the distance only it hit the post then cross bar and fell short. Only it had actually cleared the goal post. I thought that was obvious but one official didn’t. During the five minutes of discussion about was it good or not, I thought no way to the Browns get the call even though it clearing was a good kick. For once the Browns got the call. That’s something they don’
t get in past years. The only other kick that was better was the Jets beating Pittsburgh.
Just quick thanks to Bill Billick for continuing to kick the ball to Josh Cribbs. He is amazing.
An emotional high to end an emotional weekend.