Tonight’s the night. Finally, the NFL regular season starts. And it starts with a bang between New Orleans Saints and the Indianapolis Colts. Should be a great game tonight and I’m pumped. So before the season gets underway, I have to make my predictions for the season since I know all you valued readers thoroughly rely on my expertise to know what will happen in the 2007 NFL season.
AFC East
Obviously it’s the New England Patriots division. If Tom Brady can win three Super Bowls and four straight division titles with his best receivers being backup linemen and linebackers, imagine what he can do with real receivers.
The Buffalo Bills will be good with J.P. Losman, Lee Evans and Marshawn Lynch. Lynch will have Marshall Fault type impact on this team (that might just be my fantasy football talk since he’s on my team).
Every year, people expect the NJ Jets to be bad. Every year they surprise people and win 9, 10 games. Them winning 9 games this year would be more surprising than Chad Pennington’s arm not falling off at some point.
The Miami Dolphins? ‘Nough said.
AFC West
San Diego won’t be as good this year but like in fantasy football, LT alone is worth eight wins. They’ll finish 12-4.
Denver will be good but I can’t see them challenging SD. I see Jay Cutler being as good as advertised and with Travis Henry trying to add eight more babies with eight more mommies on road games, they’ll just miss the playoffs.
I think those are the only two teams in the division right? At least, real football teams. The only thing Kansas City is good for is Larry Johnson and his fantasy points. The only thing Oakland is good for is pushing the Brady Quinn should start band wagon when they beat Cleveland in Week 3.
AFC North
I hate this division so much. Bengals? Hate. Ravens? Really hate. Steelers? Just wish Pittsburgh would fall off the face of the earth. I say this as a Browns fan because we can’t beat any of those teams. Well, couldn’t beat any of those teams. This year, the Browns will finish second behind Cincinnati. Baltimore will be the Michigan of the NFL, overrated. Pittsburgh will turn on Mike Tomin and Big Ben is the Michigan of NFL quarterbacks. Of course, all these predictions are from the heart and not the head since I am a Browns fan and I like Cincy since I’ll be heading to Carson Palmer’s house for his cornhole tournament his year.
AFC South
Let’s see, Colts, Jaguars, Texans or Titans? This is almost as easy as the AFC East. Colts obviously. As bad as the Jags QB situation is, their defense and running game is so good it cancels it out. Madden curse strikes again as VY tears his ACL and MCL when he should have just throw the ball away instead of running like he was still at Texas.
NFC East
I’m going to take the Eagles here to win the division. Tony Homo isn’t a Pro Bowl quarterback and TO will be banned from the team by Week 8, like he is every third year. Giants have ‘Lil Eli, and Redskins always have hype but always live up to like New Year’s Eve, a good time but always a little disappointed. That’s the Redskins, decent but disappointing. Eagles win by default.
NFC West
Two months ago I would have taken the 49ers but now that everyone is saying they are sleeper, they’ll be just average. The Cardinals are still the Cardinals. The Rams will score a lot, but also be scored on a lot. The Seahawks are the best team in the division. But still win only finish 9-7.
NFC North
Everyone is so high on the Bears. Don’t people remember that the Super Bowl losers always falls off the next year. The Bears may still win the division but they won’t be anywhere near as good. The Vikings are last here since they are playing the always exciting no quarterback offense. The Lions, I want them to be good. But they’re Detroit. Brett Favre has been my favorite player for the longest time. I’d love to see him have one more monster year. And you know what? I see it happening. Green Bay and Favre will shock the world and win the North.
NFC South
Tampa Bay has Jeff Garcia. Falcons have Joey Harrington. Carolina has Jake Delhomme. New Orleans has Drew Brees. Who do you think is going to win the division.
Wild Cards
AFC – Buffalo and Jaguars
NFC – Chicago and Dallas
Super Bowl
New England over Philly
I know, New England is the easy choice but oh well. I’m just happy the season is starting tonight.
Carson Palmer’s house, huh? That’s awesome, I hope he grills up some John Morrell weiners for you.
These predictions are…interesting. My favorite part is that you started off with the AFC East giving each team a paragraph, then obviously got tired and just lumped the rest of the league into one big divisional paragraph. I like it!
Just read that Leigh Bodden got arrested for having a woman’s first name and disorderly conduct at the airport…good start to the season!!!
Worst predictions ever! (do i get invited this year to the tournament?)
They are bad predictions just because no one else is predicting them. I could have made the obvious picks but that’s no fun. This way, if things like this happen, I can say ‘told you so.’ Plus they give you something to make fun of me for.
As for Carson’s, no Scott, you can’t come. Trade me Peyton and I’ll think about it.