Before we get to the sports today, I got something importantly entertaining to share. We got this new person here at work about a two months ago. Goofy looking character. I first saw this individual in the lunch room. I was never introduced but over heard someone call this person “Chris.” I thought the person was a girl. Like a lesbian butch girl but a girl. I would have bet money on it. He looked like a guy but then again he looked like a girl trying to look like a guy. He had a really baby face and I couldn’t tell if a facial hair was ever grown on it’s surface. His hair was short and parted on the side. It looked like a guys hair style but it looked like a dykes hairstyle a lot more. It was short but long enough to be see that he had combed not just the top, but the sides were combed back too. Then there is the outfits. Dress pants that were neither dress nor crummy, neither tight or loose fitting and a flannel button up shirt. He has since worn similar outfits everyday. I swear he has boobs. Or at the very least, the biggest set of man boobs this country has ever seen. There is enough doubt that if it was trail and I was the jury, I’d have to find him not guilty (or not a man) by reasonable doubt. It was such an unknown that when the GF brought me lunch one day and were sitting outside, Chris walked out to his car and I had GF guess if it was a man or women, she guessed women. Since then, I’ve been trying to catch Chris in the rest room. One time I saw him coming out of the rest room but that just proved he is a good cover-uper. Then, finally, a few weeks ago, I saw him in the bathroom at the urinal.
I bring this up because the other day I watch the South Park “Do handicap children go to Hell?” The one where Satan is dating the guy named Chris. Well, the Chris here at work looks just like Chris from South Park, take a way the side burns and glasses. Eerie.
OK sorry about that. On to sports stuff.
Besides college football and the NFL, the other big event of the weekend is Kelly Pavlick fighting Bernard Hopkins. I’m starting to really like this Pavlick fella would love to watch this fight. Watching some of his earlier fights, he knocks people out like his is Mike Tyson. He knocks people through the ropes and knocked one guy out like Drago knocked out Apollo (minus the whole death thing). Do yourself a favor and look up his knockouts on YouTube. Hopkins has never been knocked out in his career. I would give it a 85% chance of that happening but I’d give it a 100% chance he loses. No way does Pavlick lose to some 43-year old. Pavlick says he only wants to fight three or four more times. I hope he changes his mind on that because the guy is special. And so are his fans from Youngstown. They can’t afford heat for their homes but the can afford to travel to Atlantic City every time he fights and drink all the beer in the casino. Really. During the first Jermain Taylor fight, Bally’s hotel/casino ran out of beer because of all the Youngstown people. Now that is the kind of group you want behind you.
On to the NFL… (8-6 last week for a year total of 44-38)
BROWNS at Washington – The Redskins just lost to crappy team and Cleveland just beat a good team. Can it happen again? Sure. It will be a battle and but the Browns look to have some confidence again. DA needed the game he had Monday night to get him on track. So did Braylon, and I guess the whole team. It’s going to come down to stopping Clinton Portis. The Browns aren’t very good at stopping the run so if Washington gets out to an early lead, they’ll pound the ball, control the clock and possibly win the game. If Cleveland can do what they did last week and get off to a good start, get a lead and make Jason Campbell beat them (which he can’t), then it’s Cleveland’s game. I know playing a road game on a short week is tough in the NFL, but this year the teams that have done it are 4-0. Come Sunday night, it’s 5-0. (Graig, are we betting anything on this? Shots next time I’m in C-bus?)
BUFFALO vs San Diego - How Philip Rivers is the top fantasy quarterback I’ll never know. But traveling cross country for a 1:00 game isn’t good on west coast teams. Buffalo is good at home.
CHICAGO vs Minnesota - Look for a shootout. It’s Gus Frerotte vs Kyle Orton. Got to love the NFC North. When in doubt, go with the home team.
PITTSBURGH at Cincy - Come on Cincy. You can pull the upset. And I can spell TJ Houzmenzada without looking it up.
KANSAS CITY vs Tennessee - Upset of the week. Tennessee isn’t going 2007 Patriots on us so they have to lose some time. Arrowhead is a tough place to play.
DALLAS at St. Louis - Did you know Romo has a broken finger? Yep. If you thought coverage of that was over the top, wait until he plays good and the Cowboys kill the Rams. Romo will be God-like, or worse, Favre-like, to the media.
MIAMI vs Baltimore - Miami is on a role and the Ravens got lit up by a 44-year old with two bad knees in Marvin Harrison last week. On the upside, Harrison and Ray Lewis can share stories about what its like to shoot a man.
SAN FRANCISCO at New York Giants - The real Eli Manning showed himself last week against the Browns. It continues against the 49ers with three more interceptions and five sacks. Frank Gore runs for 158 yards. And people start questioning the all mighty NFC East.
CAROLINA vs New Orleans - New Orleans is very inconsistent and it’s time for them to lose again. Carolina coming off a horrid performance rebounds and lights up the Saints defense.
HOUSTON vs Detroit - I thought about picking the Lions but then I thought about and there’s no way I can pick a team who starts a quarterback who runs out of the endzone for a safety and doesn’t even know it. Just think, the NFL has never had a team go winless and this year there is a more than realistic chance there could be two.
NJ JETS at Oakland - And one of those teams isn’t Oakland, amazingly.
INDIANAPOLIS at Green Bay - The Colts are back baby. Keep lighting it up Peyton and Dominick and carry my fantasy team.
TAMPA BAY vs Seattle - In the least watch Sunday Night Football game of the year.
NEW ENGLAND vs Denver - Matt Cassel isn’t a good quarterback. What does he need. A match-up against the worst pass defense in the NFL.