Before we get to the sports today, I got something importantly entertaining to share. We got this new person here at work about a two months ago. Goofy looking character. I first saw this individual in the lunch room. I was never introduced but over heard someone call this person “Chris.” I thought the person was a girl. Like a lesbian butch girl but a girl. I would have bet money on it. He looked like a guy but then again he looked like a girl trying to look like a guy. He had a really baby face and I couldn’t tell if a facial hair was ever grown on it’s surface. His hair was short and parted on the side. It looked like a guys hair style but it looked like a dykes hairstyle a lot more. It was short but long enough to be see that he had combed not just the top, but the sides were combed back too. Then there is the outfits. Dress pants that were neither dress nor crummy, neither tight or loose fitting and a flannel button up shirt. He has since worn similar outfits everyday. I swear he has boobs. Or at the very least, the biggest set of man boobs this country has ever seen. There is enough doubt that if it was trail and I was the jury, I’d have to find him not guilty (or not a man) by reasonable doubt. It was such an unknown that when the GF brought me lunch one day and were sitting outside, Chris walked out to his car and I had GF guess if it was a man or women, she guessed women. Since then, I’ve been trying to catch Chris in the rest room. One time I saw him coming out of the rest room but that just proved he is a good cover-uper. Then, finally, a few weeks ago, I saw him in the bathroom at the urinal.
I bring this up because the other day I watch the South Park “Do handicap children go to Hell?” The one where Satan is dating the guy named Chris. Well, the Chris here at work looks just like Chris from South Park, take a way the side burns and glasses. Eerie.
OK sorry about that. On to sports stuff.
Besides college football and the NFL, the other big event of the weekend is Kelly Pavlick fighting Bernard Hopkins. I’m starting to really like this Pavlick fella would love to watch this fight. Watching some of his earlier fights, he knocks people out like his is Mike Tyson. He knocks people through the ropes and knocked one guy out like Drago knocked out Apollo (minus the whole death thing). Do yourself a favor and look up his knockouts on YouTube. Hopkins has never been knocked out in his career. I would give it a 85% chance of that happening but I’d give it a 100% chance he loses. No way does Pavlick lose to some 43-year old. Pavlick says he only wants to fight three or four more times. I hope he changes his mind on that because the guy is special. And so are his fans from Youngstown. They can’t afford heat for their homes but the can afford to travel to Atlantic City every time he fights and drink all the beer in the casino. Really. During the first Jermain Taylor fight, Bally’s hotel/casino ran out of beer because of all the Youngstown people. Now that is the kind of group you want behind you.
On to the NFL… (8-6 last week for a year total of 44-38)
BROWNS at Washington – The Redskins just lost to crappy team and Cleveland just beat a good team. Can it happen again? Sure. It will be a battle and but the Browns look to have some confidence again. DA needed the game he had Monday night to get him on track. So did Braylon, and I guess the whole team. It’s going to come down to stopping Clinton Portis. The Browns aren’t very good at stopping the run so if Washington gets out to an early lead, they’ll pound the ball, control the clock and possibly win the game. If Cleveland can do what they did last week and get off to a good start, get a lead and make Jason Campbell beat them (which he can’t), then it’s Cleveland’s game. I know playing a road game on a short week is tough in the NFL, but this year the teams that have done it are 4-0. Come Sunday night, it’s 5-0. (Graig, are we betting anything on this? Shots next time I’m in C-bus?)
BUFFALO vs San Diego - How Philip Rivers is the top fantasy quarterback I’ll never know. But traveling cross country for a 1:00 game isn’t good on west coast teams. Buffalo is good at home.
CHICAGO vs Minnesota - Look for a shootout. It’s Gus Frerotte vs Kyle Orton. Got to love the NFC North. When in doubt, go with the home team.
PITTSBURGH at Cincy - Come on Cincy. You can pull the upset. And I can spell TJ Houzmenzada without looking it up.
KANSAS CITY vs Tennessee - Upset of the week. Tennessee isn’t going 2007 Patriots on us so they have to lose some time. Arrowhead is a tough place to play.
DALLAS at St. Louis - Did you know Romo has a broken finger? Yep. If you thought coverage of that was over the top, wait until he plays good and the Cowboys kill the Rams. Romo will be God-like, or worse, Favre-like, to the media.
MIAMI vs Baltimore - Miami is on a role and the Ravens got lit up by a 44-year old with two bad knees in Marvin Harrison last week. On the upside, Harrison and Ray Lewis can share stories about what its like to shoot a man.
SAN FRANCISCO at New York Giants - The real Eli Manning showed himself last week against the Browns. It continues against the 49ers with three more interceptions and five sacks. Frank Gore runs for 158 yards. And people start questioning the all mighty NFC East.
CAROLINA vs New Orleans - New Orleans is very inconsistent and it’s time for them to lose again. Carolina coming off a horrid performance rebounds and lights up the Saints defense.
HOUSTON vs Detroit - I thought about picking the Lions but then I thought about and there’s no way I can pick a team who starts a quarterback who runs out of the endzone for a safety and doesn’t even know it. Just think, the NFL has never had a team go winless and this year there is a more than realistic chance there could be two.
NJ JETS at Oakland - And one of those teams isn’t Oakland, amazingly.
INDIANAPOLIS at Green Bay - The Colts are back baby. Keep lighting it up Peyton and Dominick and carry my fantasy team.
TAMPA BAY vs Seattle - In the least watch Sunday Night Football game of the year.
NEW ENGLAND vs Denver - Matt Cassel isn’t a good quarterback. What does he need. A match-up against the worst pass defense in the NFL.
Beanie,
WTF is this supposed to mean?
NJ JETS at Oakland – And one of those teams isn’t Oakland, amazingly.
Anyway, I am going to say the Browns beat the Skins. I really hope Heiden emerges as our starting TE and Winslow only plays the slot when he comes back. We need to have all our weapons on the field at once. Use Harrison and Wright out of the backfield more often too. Hopefully the Browns stack the box and make them beat them with the pass with their 2 short but quick receivers in Moss and Randle El. Any odds on Randle El throwing a td pass in this one due to the Browns stacking the box?
W – if you read the previous sentence you would know it meant oakland isnt one of the two teams that might go winless.
um i got no comments for today. fantasy football question, since beanie brought it up with his horrible team made of thursday morning waiver wire pick ups – what receivers would you rather have – TO, Colston, AJohnson, or Fitzgerald – if you could have two?
W – if you read the line before that, “the NFL has never had a team go winless and this year there is a more than realistic chance there could be two.” then “And one of those teams isn’t Oakland.” Now does it make sense if I mapped it out and explain it to you like you are a second grader.
Ahhh… thanks for clarifying. Sorry, it’s friday, my brain hits the snooze button about all day. It all makes sense now.
Beanie, do you have to go to any high school football game tonight? If you ever want company, let me know. I’m always down to watch some local talent.
Yeah, I go to all the Aurora games but their last two games are games they’ll win by 40 points. Nothing good until playoff time for me.
I know this is frowned about…but since Beanie and Beanie Brother brought up fantasy, i have my own question. Do you start Romo and his gay pinkie against a terrible St Louis team or Delhome against NO since it should be a shootout?
KC and SF winning, that is a stretch.
I’d take AJohnson and Fitzgerald.
Shots sound like a wager to me. OK, listen, I have no problem with you thinking that your team can win. But saying that Jason Campbell can’t beat the Browns is just ridiculous. This guy has beaten the Saints, Cardinals, Cowboys, and Eagles this year…I think that Eric Wright and Brandon McDonald should be more than concerned.
You’ll know if the Browns are going to stay close after the first Redskins drive. Moss and Randle El have been dropping everything recently, if they are actually doing their job and you know, CATCHING THE BALL, the Skins will roll.
Miami is on a roll? By “roll” do you mean that they collapsed to a winless team last week?
The Titans will beat the Chiefs by at least 21 points.
The Raiders upset Favre this week…my upset.
G – I’d rather put the game in the hands of Campbell than Portis, is what I meant by that statement. And all those teams, besides the Eagles, have horrible pass defenses.
KC and SF winning is a stretch but two weeks ago I took the Falcons and Miami and no one believe me there either.
Rosie you have to wait until Sunday morning for the decision. See how the finger holds up over two days of practice.
And I agree with Rosie’s picks of WRs for you Scott.
Rosie,
I think you go conservative and play Delhomme. I think if Romo starts they might not throw as much since it is St Louie. I could see both of them putting up about the same in a best case scenario and worst case for you, you start Romo and he comes out early. But I am sure if you don’t start Romo he’ll have a Favre-like career day. Since Favre talked him into playing it only makes sense.
Beanie,
I am down for some playoff games if you want some company. Do you only do Aurora? Like if they get knocked out in the 1st round are you done? Or will you do other games then?
Here’s something interesing: In 1883, a statistical numerical system was introduced for scoring football games. A field goal was worth five points, a touchdown two points, one point for a safety and four points for making a goal following a touchdown.
Just think, if that was the case today, Romeo’s field goal decisions in the first to games of the year wouldn’t have been that bad.
I still don’t see how the Browns can win this. The Skins have the better offense, defense, and obviously coaching. Unless we get turnover-happy, I see no way that the Browns win on the road against a playoff team.
Graig, once again idiot, YOU JUST LOST AT HOME AGAINST ONE OF THE TWO WORST TEAMS IN THE LEAGUE!!! Stop acting like you are the fucking super bowl champs already! The browns are comming off a huge win against with a ton of confidence, where your skins are comming off a terrible loss at home. But yeah, i mean, i guess they shouldnt even play the game considering you think you guys are the greatest fucking football team ever to play.
It’s about time we had some Graig vs Seal. It’s been far too long.
I have to agree with Seal. The Redskins are a good team, I think we can all agree on that. But Seal is right about you putting them on this greatest team of all time pedastal. We’re barely a quarter of the way through the season and you’re acting like the Skins are the ’72 Dolphins. They lost at home to the Rams!
I guess we’ll see what happens on Sunday.
Oh God, you guys are ridiculous. ’72 Dolphins comparisons? Yes, I am aware that the Skins were upset last week. And I am aware that you beat the Giants because any team that plays football could have beaten that flat team on Monday night. I’ve seen your team (especially your QB) play on the road and it isn’t pretty.
I can’t wait for all of you to post with your tails between your legs on Monday. Enjoy the Zorn-ado.
I guess there’s not much left to say except that both teams will do the talking for us on Sunday. At the very least the Browns are a good bet to take on Sunday being a 7-8 point underdog. I think this game will come down to a field goal. And when a FG is what you need, Philly Blunt is the guy to have. I hope the skins have the same attitude as Graig come Sunday as well. That only works to the Browns advantage. If we had any better of a coach, I’d feel a lot better about this game. Romeo just sounds like an idiot every time he talks. If the Browns don’t make the playoffs this year, they have to can him and bring in Bill Cowher.
Did you see that Delonte West left the Cavs for a few days to deal with depression.? Oh that’s just fucking great, we’ve got ourselves a Vince fucking Young.
He doesn’t seem to have that big of man breasts.