So unbelievable, it’s believable

Ask a third-grader and he would know what to do. Hell, ask your girlfriend who knows nothing about sports and she’ll know what to do. Anyone who can do basic math (and even those who can’t) would have know what to do. It’s funny that a head football coach doesn’t know what do. Romeo is an idiot. Maybe he only knows how to do math in fractions. You know, like four quarter pounders equals a pound. But subtracting 3 from 10, Romeo has no clue. He can add three to any number though. I just don’t get it. Walking out of the stadium last night, everyone was asking the same thing, “Why do you kick a field goal?” Does Romeo not realize you still need a touchdown to win when you are down 10-6? And with less than 3 minutes left, you probably aren’t going to get the ball back. If you do, there won’t be much time left (which happened). Romeo, you are a moron. A complete moron. A field goal? Really? I still don’t understand it. A field goal? Was he playing the spread? Does he have Phil Dawson on his fantasy team? What the hell was he thinking? You just drove 60 some yards on 14 plays, have the momentum, the crowd cheering like crazy behind you, you’ve converted three third downs on the drive, you have a chance to finally beat your hated rival for the first time in 10 tries and instead you settle for a meaningless field goal that still leaves you needing a touchdown to win. Someone please explain this to me. 

Romeo’s time in Cleveland is over. I would have fired him last night. Phil Savage should have appeared on the jumbotran and announced over the PA system that Romeo is fired, a la, WWE style. That would have got the biggest cheer of the game. Of course, he won’t be fired though. But anyone who kicks that field, doesn’t deserve to be a head coach. Herm Edwards thinks Romeo is a bad coach. Norv Turner thinks he’s a bad coach. And the fans have no faith in him. Bye-bye Romeo.

And that is all based on just the field goal decision (and last’s one too). Then it gets even worse when you factor in the crappy “two-minute offense” at the first half. Way to waste 10 seconds before calling a time-out. Way to waste another 10-15 by sneaking it on third-and-one instead of calling a timeout. Then, on top of it all, a time a field goal would have been a good call, he doesn’t do that. A field goal would have made it 7-3 at half and been a slight boost at the break. Instead, he calls a slow developing pass play the DA throws to Steptoe at the three-yard line, only its such a horrible pass it’s intercepted. One, you got to throw it to the endzone. Two, you don’t throw it to Steptoe. Three, throw a quick fade to Braylon or quick slant to Winslow so that even if it’s incomplete, you still got time for the field goal. Horrible, horrible decisions by Romeo and DA. You got to get points on the board.

Once again, Browns fans are left shaking their heads as we lose once again to Pittsburgh. The crowd at the game was great. Loud, cheering all the time, yelling at Steeler fans and really into the game. But again, we all left disappointed and pissed off. Seal was with me and asked “why am I such a die-heart Browns fan?” I answered, “because the one time they win it all will be worth it.” In theory, yes. But it won’t ever happen with Romeo in charge of this team.

 

In other weekend football action…

The Ohio State-USC game went just about as you expect any OSU game against and non-Big Ten, MAC, Ohio school team. Can we please all agree OSU isn’t national title contender now? But of course if we look at the game through W’s eyes, we won’t count this game, or the OU game, in determining how good the Buckeyes are. We’ll just stick to the YSU game and say Ohio State looks really, really dominate.

And Michigan might win two more games, might. At at least the Minnesota-Michigan rivalry will be a good game again.

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NFL Week 2 thoughts

The season doesn’t necessarily ride on this game, but if the Browns lose to the Steelers like they did the Cowboys last week, it will be hard to stay excited about the season. Cleveland needs to show some form of life. They need to look more like a team that has playoff hopes and less like the St. Louis Rams. It’s going to be a tough game. The defense is more banged up than Carl Parvano. Mike Adams and Nick Sorensen are our starting safeties for God sake. You can’t have a good defense if Nick Sorensen is starting for you. That means the defensive line will have to get to Roethlisberger. They put less pressure on Tony Romo last week than on a home less guy picking out his outfit for the day. But the real key, besides not dropping passes and remembering the snap count, Braylon, will be stopping the run. Combine the Browns run defense with Willie Parker’s performance last week and things don’t look good. However, I’m going with karma. It’s Sunday night football. The last time the Browns beat the Steelers was on Sunday night football. (The Browns wore orange pants in that game. Maybe the should do the same this game. But while I’m thinking of uniforms, why did the Browns wear their white road uni’s last week? Was it to force Dallas to wear their blue which the almost never wear? Stupid move. If you are the Browns, you wear your brown jerseys whenever you can. Just not brown pants.) The football Gods have to be bored with watching Pittsburgh whip up on Cleveland twice a year, every year. This is the time it changes. The Browns will be fired up (or should be but if Romeo is giving them the pep talk I wouldn’t be surprised if the team stormed out of the locker, all fired up, but instead of taking the field, they ran to Panini’s and all ordered the pastromi sandwich). They (should) know this game means everything to us fans. A win, and the season will look more promising than any other season we can remember. A loss, and let’s start looking for those top college players. Because it’s going to be hard to go into Cincinnati and Baltimore, as bad as those teams are, and win both games. Heading into the bye week 1-3 or 0-4 and DA is traded to New England. The return of Josh Cribbs (look, that’s a pun) will be huge. Huge enough to get the win, I think.

In other games… (last week I only went 7-8 so what do I know)

New England over NY Jets – Favre makes start 256 (or something like that) in a row. Matt Cassel makes start number one. And out plays him. (Of course I’m not really picking with my head. I met Cassel and like I’ve said before, his incredible hot sister.)

Tennessee over Cincy – Long live Kerry Collins.

Carolina over Chicago – I just can’t pick a team led by Kyle Orton, unless it’s a drinking team.

Jacksonville over Buffalo - I think Buffalo players are so happy to play road games and get out of Buffalo, that they really don’t care about the game.

Green Bay over Detroit – If Aaron Rodgers can play that well against the Vikings defense, imagine how great he’ll do against a high school team.

Indy over Minnesota – An 0-2 start for Minnesota, 2-0 for Green Bay, makes it hard to win a division that way. Indy hasn’t be 0-2 since 1998.

Kansas City over Oakland – really, who cares?

New Orleans over Washington – Marues Colston is out but for the Redskins to have a chance, they need Drew Brees, Reggie Bush, Duece McAllister, David Patton, Devery Henderson, Terrance Copper and the entire offensive line to have some sort of illness and miss the game.

NY Giants over St. Louis – I hate seeing the Giants win.

Seattle over San Francisco – Could be the ugliest, lowest scoring game in the history of the NFL.

Miami over Arizona – My sleeper pick needs this win more than Jessica Simpson needs to stop being talked about on ESPN.

Houston over Baltimore – Baltimore was lucky enough to start the season against the Southern Ohio Correctional Facility to get a win. They only play them one more time this year.

Philly over Dallas – based soley on the fantasy value need having McNabb, Westbrook and Jackson.

 

*** FYI *** Monday may not be a post day since I’ll be at the Browns game late and then will be busy at work. Sorry to disappoint you but don’t let this news ruin your weekend. Enjoy the games and go Browns.

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CFB preview with what to expect from OSU fan

We are going to take a look at the weekend in college football because it’s such a big weekend. Just think how much bigger it would be if it was two, three, four, or any number great than two years ago. You know, when Michigan and Notre Dame were good teams.

Of course the biggest game of the weekend is Ohio State at USC. If this game goes like everyone thinks it’s going to, OSU will get beat by 55 points and all their cocky, ignorant fans will be left trying to come up with some excuse like “if we would have converted that 3rd-and-27 in the first quarter it would have been a different game.” Now, I don’t think OSU will lose by 55 points but I do think they’ll lose convincingly. I don’t know how you can have any confidence, if you’re an OSU fan, after seeing a bottom level team from the MAC out muscle both your lines and seeing your quarterback not put up better than a 40 rating in his last four games. I think you’ll see a lot more Terrell Pryor late in this game and maybe taking over the starting duties. 

Other things you’ll hear from Buckeye Fan if Ohio State loses (I’m giving these out now so I won’t have to hear them after the game)…

“At least we didn’t lose to Utah or App State.”

“Wait til next year. We’ll beat them in Columbus.”

“We can still win the national title with one loss.” 

“We’ll still win the Big Ten.”

“I don’t want to hear from you (Michigan fan), you barely beat Notre Dame.” (If Michigan beats Notre Dame.)

“I don’t want to hear from you (Michigan fan), you lost to Notre Dame.” (If Michigan loses to ND.)

“We could have won if Chris Wells was healthy.”

“We could have won if Tressel would have played Pryor more.”

“We’ll still beat Michigan.”

And now, if an Ohio State fan still says this to you, here are the predetermined responses.

“No, you lost to USC. It’s still a loss. Who cares if Michigan lost to App State last year, it was last year, and Utah this year, they aren’t a good team anyway. This was suppose to be your season defining game and you lost by 55. You blew it. Any excuse you come up with isn’t going to change the score or make you feel any better.”

“You really think home field advantage counted for 55 points? Wonder what excuse you’ll come up with when you lose at home?”

“Congrats on winning the fifth best conference in the country. The ACC thinks it’s a joke. Have fun getting blown out in a BCS bowl, again. But I guess you are used to it now.”

“Yeah, but we won.”

“Yeah, we suck.”

“Well, he wasn’t because your awesome, never make a mistake coach left him in a blow out game against a high school team just so he could pad his stats and he ended up getting hurt.”

“But he didn’t.”

“You probably will. Michigan isn’t good this year.”

I hope this helps you Saturday night and Sunday morning. 

The other “big” game is Michigan at Notre Dame. Like I said, this normally is the game of the week. The two winningest college football programs in the country and teams with tradition that should make them national title contenders every year. Only they both suck this year. This game has a chance to be the ugliest game every played between schools this big. In fact, I bet the high school game I watch Friday is more fundamentally sound than this one. But since both teams are so bad, it actually could be an entertaining game. As bad as both defenses are, they’ll look like the ‘85 Bears and ‘00 Ravens sine the offenses are even worse. First team to 13 wins this game.

Both teams are playing for their seasons. Michigan needs this win to pad the win total before the Big Ten schedule that starts off tough with Wisconsin and Illinois. Notre Dame needs the win to pad the win total before playing the always tough armed forces – Army, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, Massachusetts Militia – schools that never practice. Who ever wins probably makes it to a bowl game. The loser, more than likely doesn’t. Of course I’ll take Michigan, 17-9.

In other games…

*** Kansas at South Florida *** Strange times in college football when, for the second year in a row, these two teams are ranked in the top 20. Kansas wins easily.

*** East Carolina at Tulane *** Hate Skip Bayless. Hate Lou Holtz. Love Skip Holtz. Weird, yes. ECU is going to mess up somewhere but not here.

*** Georgia at South Carolina *** The Old Ball Coach is good for one big upset a year. I doubt this is it but I wouldn’t be surprised.

*** Oklahoma at Washington *** I can guarantee two things from this game. One, OU wins. Two, if Jake Locker scores, he won’t be throwing the ball up in the air.

*** Wisconsin at Fresno State *** The Big Ten needs this win more than the Badgers. If Fresno wins this one, and Michigan loses, and OSU gets blown out, the Big Ten will be worse than the ACC.

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True NFL Story – Vince Young

Sunday afternoon, Vince Young was the starting quarterback for the Tennessee Titans. He was a young, rich, confident man. He wasn’t the greatest quarterback in the NFL but it was new year and a chance to put his 19 INT 8 TD performance in 2007 behind him and show the world he was true NFL quarterback. Say what you want about his stats but he lead the Titans to the playoffs last year (thanks to Jim Sorgi) and has a 18-11 career record as a starter. You have to be either really special, or really lucky to have that good of a record when you have that kind of TD to INT ratio. In the NFL, sometimes lucky gets the job done. Young’s luck finally ran out on Sunday.

VY was his normal, below average self, struggling to be an effective quarterback yet still on his way to leading the Titans to a 17-10 win over Jaguars and most overrated quarterback in the leauge David Garrard.

In the fourth quarter, Young threw an interception, his second of the day, and did what any team leader would do; walk to the sideline, throw his helment on the ground, sit on a bench, put a towel over his head so no one can see him cry, refuse to get back in the game while boos rained down like dollar bills in a strip club with Pacman Jones.

Young “refused” to go back in the game until Jeff Fisher talked to him and convinced him his team needed him. It was probably the best coaching move, best speech, Fisher has ever made. Just think of the talk Fisher had to have given VY: “Vincent, you don’t suck…. Look at me… no…. Look me in the eyes. We need you. If you don’t go out there, Kerry Colllins will. As bad as you think you suck, Kerry is much worse. I mean he’s white. He has to suck…. What? No. The fans aren’t booing you. They’re saying ‘boo-urns.’ As in go boo-urn that Jaugars. Come Vincent. Go out there and be the best, below average waste of a top three draft pick you can be. Make me and Ryan Leaf proud.”

Well played Coach Fisher. Fisher knew what was about to happen. Four plays later VY was hit in a collision which ended up spraining his MCL and taking him out at least two week, probably longer. Fisher saw what he was getting from Young. He wasn’t going to be any better than last year and he couldn’t take it anymore. Fisher made a pact with Daryl Smith to hit VY in the knee and hope it would put him at the same rehab facility as Tom Brady. Now Fisher is hoping Collins can do what he did for the NY Gaints in 2000 and just simply not make mistakes. Which could be hard for Collins but when compared to Young, should be easy. If the Titans do well without Young, Fisher found his way to rid himself of VY. Well played coach. And now you signed Chris Simms, bye-bye Vince. 

The whole situation left Young confused (it doesn’t take much with a 6 wonderlick score). He was confused why his knee hurt, why the fans were saying “booo-urn,” why his coach wouldn’t respond when he called him Mack but more importantly, why the national media was ripping him when his stats in Madden ‘09 were so damn impressive. Vince couldn’t take it anymore. 

He left his home without his cell phone and couldn’t be tracked down for hours. Young was suppose to under go an MRI but never showed up. It was all a misunderstanding. Vince confused MRI with a sufficicated term meaning “Mission to Recover I” with the I standing for me, with the me standing for Vince Young. VY took took that as meaning the team wanted to play hide-and-seek, so he went and hide in the best hiding place he could remember as a kid; behind the couch.

His friends and family couldn’t find him anywhere (Young is a much better hide-and-seek player than a NFL quarterback) and they were concerned because they had never seen Vince so confused, which is really saying something for VY who gets confused when he see’s old Texas games of himself and wonders how he could be in two places at once. The police were called and finally Young was found. Young was very upset. When the police found him all he was saying was “ you cheated, you cheated!!!” Vince decleared himself the winner.

When word got out that the police were trying to find Young, the media couldn’t find him either (they aren’t good hide-and-seekers either) but they did track down Young’s agent. Young’s agent is Major Adams, no doubt a tribute to another former Texas agent Major Applewhite. Major Adams was thrown off by this story but quickly released that he had to have something to do with Young’s lack of intelligence. Not wanting to throw his player (paycheck) under the bus, Adams used South Park’s “some Puerto Rican guy” defense. He said Young was a friend’s house “watching football and eating chicken wings.” When in doubt of where a black guy is, you have a better than 80% chance of being right if you say eating chicken. Major Adams knows this.

The whole story around Vince Young from Sunday and Monday was confusing. I just wanted to get to the bottom of it for my reader(s). I hope this cleared everything up.

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Random thoughts

 

 

It’s a random day here at J Beanie. Not quite a Grab Bag Day but more like a cleaning out the Grab Bag Day. I got a lot of random thoughts I’ve wanted to share and today is a good day to do it.

You know when you watch baseball games and there’s that asshole behind home plate on his phone waving his hands? Yeah, we all hate him. It’s even worse at Indians games. They have that ground level suite and only one, maybe two, people can get over far enough to be on TV. It never fails that ever game one of these douche bags stands there, on his phone, waving his arms like a retard. Why? Did the guy you’re talking to on the phone get you confused with the other guy in a white shirt in the ground level suite directly behind home plate? There should be a sniper with a paintball gun at all baseball games who shoots these annoying bastards when they see something like this happening.

Have you heard the newest Coors Light commercial on the radio? It’s one of those press conference things I think but I can never get all the way through it because of the way they start it off. It says something like “We are here with legendary NFL coach Brian Billick…” Really? Brian Billick is a legend? If that’s true, then I’m a God.

I haven’t watch a lot of PTI recently but the last couple I have seen, when they go to a commercial, how come after one they cut back to the studio where Tony and Mike are talking thinking they are off air? Have you seen this? I wish just one time Wilbon would lose is (I think he’s real close to losing it) and go off on Tony calling him a “racist, cheap Jew bag” and punching him in the face.

If you had to cut of one of your appendages, what would it be, and what would you put there as a replacement? I think I’d cut off my hand and replace it with a big foam hand.

How come the Browns never get to play a team like the Raiders in the season opener? They could have beat them. They look horrible.

Slovakia beat Bulgaria 82-0 in women’s hockey. Yeah, isn’t that ridiculous? I can’t believe women’s hockey is still a sport too.

Aaron Rodgers should switch is number to 4.

Cincinnati should retire number 85, for Martin Baccaglio, a defensive end on their 1985 team. Come on 85 on the ‘85 team, that’s retire-worthy. Sorry Mr. Ocho Cinco, time for a new name.

Anyone else think Sarah Palinn looks exactly like the stripper teacher from Varsity Blues?

Anyone else not surprised her 17-year old daughter is pregnant? I mean, come on, she’s hot.

Is Matt Cassel the next Tom Brady? Remember Brady replaced Drew Bledsoe when he was a nobody. Yeah, I don’t think so either, but he still has a hot sister.

Anyone want to go to the Aeros playoff games tomorrow? I got free tickets.

Seal, Jon, answer my email. Are you guys in for the game Sunday?

I’m bored writing so I know you got to be bored reading.

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The typical season opener

 

It was deja vu all over again. It seems like every year you can write the same story about the Browns season opener before the game is even played. It goes something like this: Everyone is pumped for the game, the season. Fans are out at the bars/tailgating early. Cleveland is covered in brown and orange. The excitement is at an all time high and everyone is having a great time… until the game starts. Then all that excitement blows up faster than Tom Brady’s knee or Donte Stallworth’s hamstring. 

This has to stop. The Browns have opened at home every year since coming back to the NFL in 1999 and have lost every game but one. The lone win coming against the Ravens with Jeff Gracia as our quarterback. It’s ridiculous. I know the Browns haven’t been good in past years but to loss nine of 10 season openers at home is awful. I’m not going to look it up but I think they have been outscored something like 1,649 to 14 in those 10 to games. How do you not get your team ready to play in the first game of the season? Romeo is 0-3 in openers. He hasn’t beat Pittsburgh and he hasn’t won a big game (Cincy last year). The Browns made so many stupid plays and penalties yesterday you can’t help but think it has something to do with the man leading the way. And how do you kick a field goal down 28-7 with 10 minutes to play on a 4th-and-2? I’d say half the people in the stadium left after that call. Awful decision.

To sum up the game; there was more action in the crowd than there was on the field. Several fights broke out between Cowboy fans and Browns fans. (Surprisingly none involving me although I did my best to piss off as many Cowboy fans as I could, including little girls.) It was like being at an Indians game against the Red Sox or Yankees. There were so many Cowboy fans it pissed me off. And some Browns fans were even at the game with Cowboy fans. I would never, ever, everevereverever, take an opposing fan to a Browns game, or and professional sporting event. 

As for the game itself, every part of the team where there was question marks during the preseason, those question and be answered with a simple “yes.” As in “yes, we aren’t very good.” Defense, not good. Linebackers, not good. Defensive backs, really not good. Coaching, not good. (How can you have so many illegal shift penalties? Stop running stupid shift formations with Syndric Steptoe and non-90210 Steve Sanders playing their first NFL games.) Offense’s health, not good. (Still don’t understand how you get hurt in pregame warm-ups.) Braylon’s hands, just don’t throw right at them. (Seriously, four drops? Your cut was on your foot, not your hands. I don’t care how long you were out, you should catch the ball. And, Braylon, FYI, you had more than the two drops you admitted too.)

OK, that’s enough. We all saw the game and all saw how much it sucked. Realistically, I don’t think many of us thought the Browns would win. With the tough opening two week schedule, going 1-1 would be a major plus. If the Browns can beat the Steelers next week, then no one will even talk about the Cowboys game again. 

But yesterday wasn’t all bad. I went to the game with GFB, GFB-2, and GFD, or BIL-1, BIL-2 and FIL. We got to this exclusive, private tailgate party hosted by Miller Lite thanks to GFB’s buddy. Free food, free beer and Eric Metcalf. That’s right. The Eric Metcalf of “Metcalf up the middle for no gain” fame. He was there at the party signing autographs. (So was Reggie Langhorn and Leory Kelly, but who cares about a No. 2 wide receiver and a HOFer when there is Eric ‘Freakin’ Metcalf in the house.) Getting Metcalf’s autograph was almost worth the horrible show I was about to witness. 

Here is Metcalf and I. And no, that isn’t a security guard outfit Eric is wearing.

The day could have been worse. We could have been the Detroit Lions and lose to Atlanta by 55 points.

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A weekend of nothing but football

The weekend we’ve all be looking forward to all summer is finally here. A full football weekend is in store for us. Finally. There will be nothing but football watching being done this weekend by J Beanie. Week Two of college football followed by Week One of the NFL, as well. The NFL was suppose to get started last night but instead a last minute schedule change put the defending Super Bowl Champion New York Giants in an exhibition against a All-Star team of college back-ups. I didn’t watch the game because the Busket Boys were out doing their thing (losing) but seeing the highlights, it must have been an embarrassment to be a Redskin fan. 

Anyway, on to the football weekend, first with college then the NFL.

 

I’m looking for the marquee game this week. Looking… looking… looking… not finding it. ESPN is selling us the Miami-Florida game. Really? Because Miami beat Charleston Southern 52-7, we are suppose to believe they are back and going to make this game relevant to anyone outside for Florida? Nope, sorry. Don’t care about the state of Florida and if a hurricane came through the state during the game and destroyed the stadium and both teams I would be a lot happier.

Other big games for top five teams. Let’s just say USC may have the toughest week ahead.

Ohio State’s got Ohio. Don’t blame OSU for this one. They are gradually getting ready for USC by upgrading competition one crappy Ohio team at a time. The only question about this game is who will Tressell leave in long enough to push the lead to 48-0 and get hurt in the process. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if OU plays with them for a quarter, even a half before getting blown out in the end.

Georgia actually has a decent game against Central Michigan. Georgia shouldn’t have a problem but it will be interesting to see how CMU’s Dan LeFevour does against top competition.

Oklahoma has Cincinnati. The Bearcats did go 8-4 last year but come on. It’s still Cincinnati and that town would be better off falling into the Ohio River.

Florida International has a good chance to win just their second game in the last 25 when they take on Iowa.

San Diego State has a good chance to win their eighth game in the last three years when they play Notre Dame.

Bowling Green can make it two wins in a row over BCS schools against Minnesota this weekend.

What could be the best game of the weekend is West Virginia at East Carolina. The up and coming Pirates are coming off a big win over Virginia Tech. I’m thinking they got another big game in them.

Murray State at Indiana. No, not basketball. So who cares? Even if it was basketball, who cares?

Then there’s Michigan and Miami (OH). Graig, what are we betting on this? The next two weeks will be key for Michigan. Wins over the RedHawks and Notre Dame could mean a winning season and extending the nations longest bowl game streak. A loss in either and that will be hard to make a reality. I’m excited because this will be the first time I get to see Michigan this year. They have to be better than last week. I don’t know anything about Miami besides they are a MAC school and Graig says they have the worst quarterback of all time. Hopefully that means Michigan can find some kind of rhythm on offense and their defense play like the second half against Utah defense. 

 

As for the NFL, I’m pumped for the Browns home opener against Dallas. The opener is always one of the best events of the year for tailgating and I don’t expect it to be any different this year despite missing several regulars at the game. As for the game, I have a sinking feeling it’s going to be like last year’s opener against Pittsburgh; ugly. Of course, I’ll never predict that and I’ll take the Browns in a game much like the Bengals from last year.

In other games (I’m going to pick winners just so you know who not to bet on. I’m guessing straight up because I don’t feel like dealing with the spreads. Anybody want to try and do better than me?)

PITTSBURGH over Houston

JAX over Tennessee

BUFFALO over Seattle

INDY over Chicago

CINCY over Baltimore

PHIL over St. Louis

MIAMI over New York Jets

NEW ENGLAND over Kansas City

DETROIT over Atlanta

NEW ORLEANS over Tampa

ARIZONA over San Francisco

SAN DIEGO over Carolina

GREEN BAY over Minnesota

OAKLAND over Denver

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NFL Preview – NFC

 

Well yesterday’s AFC Preview got everyone talking, of course it was more about The Busket Boys than football but what the hell. We’ll see what can happen with the NFC Preview.

 

NFC NORTH

1. Green Bay

2. Minnesota

3. Detroit

4. Chicago

Green Bay will be fine without Favre. Not 13-3 fine but good enough to win the division. Everyone is riding high on the Vikings. I agree they’ll be good but AP gets hurt a lot, Tavaris Jackson would lose his starting job to Alex Smith and as good as the defense was against the run last year (first in the NFL) they were just as bad against the pass (last in the NFL). The mare fact Sports Illustrated picked them to go to the Super Bowl, is reason enough not to like their chances. Detroit takes third place in the division by default since Chicago will play the season without a quarterback.

 

NFC SOUTH

1. New Orleans

2. Carolina

3. Tampa Bay

4. Atlanta

Atlanta finishing fourth is easier to predict than who will win in a swim race between Michael Phelps and, well, anybody. The Saints make it back to the top of the division. They started last year just horrible and it cost them. Not again. They are by far the most talented team in the division. Carolina is better simply because their quarterback this year isn’t on social security. Tampa still has Jeff Garcia, among 15 other quarterbacks, and no way does he do what he did last year this year. 

 

NFC EAST

1. Dallas

2. Washington

3. Philadelphia

4. New York Giants

By far the toughest division in the NFL. Cowboys have to be the favorite and after that it’s a toss up. I debated over the positions of the other three for some time. In kept me up at night last night. I could find reasons to not like the Giants and Eagles but the only reason I found for the Redskins was because Griag likes them and their players die midseason. So since those aren’t great reason, I’ll take them to finish second. Phily is the same Phily team for the last few years; wildly inconsistent. They could be good if McNabb and Westbrook stay healthy. Then again, they could suck if McNabb and Westbrook are healthy. It’s are so hard to know what they’ll do. The Giants simply won’t catch the breaks they did last year. You can’t win 9 games in a row on the road or whatever it was. 

 

NFC WEST

1. Seattle

2. St. Louis

3. Arizona

4. San Francisco

By far the weakest division in the NFL. It makes the NL West look strong. Seattle wins because, really, who else are you going to pick. The team with a quarterback who has the ugliest wife in football who is six years past his prime and can barely hold on to a football but still good enough to beat out a first-round pick? Or the team with a quarterback who’s name sounds like the bar the Boondock Saints drank at, who has played in five games and thrown less passes in his career than Tom Brady does in a half, but is good enough to beat out a once number-one over all pick? Or the team that barely won three games last year? Yeah, I’d say it’s Seattle’s division.

 

WILD CARDS

Minnesota, Washington

 

NFC CHAMP

New Orleans

 

SUPER BOWL

New England over New Orleans

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NFL Preview – AFC

The NFL season starts tomorrow (but who cares about that since The Busket Boys are back in action) and the start to any season is incomplete without a season prediction from the always accurate J Beanie. We all know that my predictions are always right on. They are as accurate as a short-armed midget playing darts with a javelin from 55 feet away. But I can’t pass up an opportunity to share what is going on in this messed up dome of mine, so here goes.

 

AFC NORTH

1. Pittsburgh

2. Cleveland

3. Baltimore

4. Cincinnati

I really want to pick Cleveland to win the division but how can you? They haven’t beat Pittsburgh since Tim Couch was playing. (How said is that? Tim Couch? Really? He was last quarterback to lead the Browns over the Steelers? I don’t know if that speaks to how bad the Browns have been since or how bad the Steelers were then.) Because of that, how can you say the Browns are going to be better than the Steelers. They have to beat them first before you can say that and they get their chance in the Sunday night game in Week 2. (Just a friendly reminder: The last time Cleveland beat Pittsburgh, it was a Sunday night game. I’m just saying.) Then you have what happened this preseason: All the injuries and horrible play in the preseason games. Remember when Devin Holly went down and was lost for the season. I said that injury could be a foreshadowing of things to come. Holly wasn’t an All-Pro or anything but they were counting on him being a leader in the defensive backfield. His injury threw that out of whack. All you other Browns fans said “on don’t worry, it’s just Devin Holly, no big deal.” And like I said then, you are right, it’s just Devin Holly. But he is a starter and when starters start getting hurt, you are in for a long season. DA, Braylon, Cribbs, Peak, Jones, Pool, Tucker, Hednot, Joey J, Beau Bell, Winslow (will never be healthy), Lewis, Rogers and Williams and I’m sure there are guys I’m missing have all been hurt or are still hurt and missed preseason games. And in those preseason games, the Browns have looked terrible. It’s for those reasons I’m nervous about the season. But its for the same reasons I’m optimistic. They have been injured and haven’t had their full team on the field for a preseason game. That’s why they have looked so bad and when they get everyone back, they’ll be fine. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Pittsburgh has a tough schedule and lost some offensive linemen. If they couldn’t protect Ben last year, I don’t see them doing it this year. But even with the toughest schedule in the NFL, they’ll benefit from playing in one of the weaker divisions.

Baltimore and Cincinnati are both horrible. The Ravens had to pick a rookie quarterback, a running quarterback or a first-round quarterback who has been the biggest disappointment not named Alex Smith. The rookie won. There’s some confidence for you.

The Bengals are a mess. How much to you think Carson Palmer wants out of there? I think he has one of those big countdown clocks you see in Irish bars counting down they days, hours, minutes and seconds to St. Patrick’s Day in his living room counting down until his contract runs out.

 

AFC SOUTH

1. Indianapolis

2. Jacksonville

3. Houston

4. Tennessee

While the North may be the weakest division in the AFC (although the West rivals it) the South is by far the toughest. I want to pick Jacksonville over the Colts but can’t do it yet. A lot of people are picking the Jaguars to win the division and I’ll use the same Cleveland-Pittsburgh argument. JAX hasn’t won the division yet so how can you pick them now when both have the same team from last year? I know JAX has beat Indy before (a lot actually) but they haven’t done enough to win the division so until they do, I’m sticking with the Colts. Houston will be competitive and surprise a lot of teams and Tennessee’s luck will finally run out with Vince Young completing 4 percent of his passes. 

 

AFC EAST

1. New England

2. Miami

3. Buffalo

4. NY Jets

Picking New England in this division is as easy as picking your nose at a red light. Just don’t see any of these teams coming close to them. Miami? Their starting running back is a guy who hasn’t been affective since he wore a wedding dress. But I do think Chad Pennington will make a huge difference there. Buffalo could be good but, come on, it’s Buffalo. They are playing one of their home games in Canada for God’s sake. The Jets? I debated on saying they’ll be really, really good, or really, really bad. I went with bad because they were bad last year and Favre isn’t going to be the difference maker. I love Favre and I hope I’m wrong here but last year was suppose to be his ride into the sunset with those Wangler jeans. All his “risky” passes and “bad decisions” turned in to “remarkable throws” and “unbelievable playmaking decisions” for one year. They were the same throws people hated him for the two previous years but the football God’s rewarded Favre for his persistence and gave him one more great year. Once everyone was sucked in, they screwed Favre over with that lame duck INT against the NYG in OT. That was supposed to be his final NFL pass. The football Gods won’t like Favre trying to one up them and will doom him to a horrible year.

 

AFC WEST

1. San Diego

2. Oakland

3. Denver

4. Kansas City

Another division won by default. No one can compete with the Chargers. Oakland, I don’t know why, but they’ll be at least .500 this year. Lane Kiffen will win Coach of the Year and when asked for a comment on it, Al Davis will say “Who?” Denver, Jay Cutler is nothing but a middle of the pack quarterback and with him, the Broncos will never be more than a middle of the pack team. And Kansas City starts a quarterback named Brodie. 

 

WILD CARDS

Jacksonville, Cleveland

 

AFC CHAMPION

New England. Call it a cheap pick how you not pick a team that won 18 games last year and returns everyone besides their No. 2 receiver who was being out played by Jabar Gaffney at the end of the year.

 

NFC coming tomorrow (or later today if I’m bored enough).

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A weekend of firsts

The first weekend of college football provided lots of first, both on the college football field and in other sports, and even in the life of J Beanie.

It was the first time I watched no college football on a fall Saturday. 

It was the first time Michigan lost it’s season opener at home to an unranked opponent. Oh wait, no it’s not. But I believe it is the first time they lost season openers at home in consecutive years. Like I said, I didn’t see any college football so I didn’t watch this game. From what I gather, Michigan looks horrible. No sustained drives as the offensive looked, as a fellow Michigan fan co-worker said, “Three Stogies-like.” As frustrating as it is, this is not a App. State game. This is not the fifth-rank team losing to a I-AA team. This is a completely new team, running a new offense losing to a very good mid-major team who will win 9 or 10 games this year. But, it’s still Michigan and they still should win this game. Contrary to what Seal wrote this weekend, the season is not over. Get a confidence building win over Miami and another over Notre Dame, and they will be ready for the Big Ten schedule. Or, if they don’t improve at all, it’s an embarrassing loss to a MAC school and a horrible ND team, then get run over in the Big Ten. Let’s hope for the best.

The weekend also was my first bachelor’s party.

First time I peed in a bottle.

First time I peed in a bottle in front of 25 men on a party bus that didn’t have a bathroom. (Really? You get a party bus to travel two hours with that many guys who are drinking and you don’t have a bathroom? That makes about as much sense as picking Darren McFadden in the first round of your fantasy draft.)

It was the first time I went to a casino and didn’t get kicked out. (Two for two in Vegas baby. I guess West Virginia is a little tamer.)

First time I drank Iron City beer. (And never again. Worst beer ever but at $2 for a 16 ounce can, you have to have it. The beer was so bad, it make a rum and coke taste like the a Gatorade the morning after a big drinking night. It was that refreshing.)

It was the first time I used a pay phone that I can remember (at least since like sixth grade) since my phone died and I had to make sure the GF remembered when to pick up at in the morning.

I played poker for money for the first time on Sunday.

It was also the first time I won money playing poker. I’m a natural.

Cliff Lee became the first 20-game winner for the Indians since 1974. He’s such a badass right now that he picks fights with anyone. How sweet was it to see him yelling at the White Sox?

It will be the first time the Indians pitchers win back to back Cy Youngs.

Lots of first from the weekend and a big week coming up with the NFL kicking off, The Busket Boys back in action on Thursday (practice a little Wednesday?) and the Akron Aeros in the playoffs (Anyone want to go to the game Saturday?). Should be a good week.

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