Sunday afternoon, Vince Young was the starting quarterback for the Tennessee Titans. He was a young, rich, confident man. He wasn’t the greatest quarterback in the NFL but it was new year and a chance to put his 19 INT 8 TD performance in 2007 behind him and show the world he was true NFL quarterback. Say what you want about his stats but he lead the Titans to the playoffs last year (thanks to Jim Sorgi) and has a 18-11 career record as a starter. You have to be either really special, or really lucky to have that good of a record when you have that kind of TD to INT ratio. In the NFL, sometimes lucky gets the job done. Young’s luck finally ran out on Sunday.
VY was his normal, below average self, struggling to be an effective quarterback yet still on his way to leading the Titans to a 17-10 win over Jaguars and most overrated quarterback in the leauge David Garrard.
In the fourth quarter, Young threw an interception, his second of the day, and did what any team leader would do; walk to the sideline, throw his helment on the ground, sit on a bench, put a towel over his head so no one can see him cry, refuse to get back in the game while boos rained down like dollar bills in a strip club with Pacman Jones.
Young “refused” to go back in the game until Jeff Fisher talked to him and convinced him his team needed him. It was probably the best coaching move, best speech, Fisher has ever made. Just think of the talk Fisher had to have given VY: “Vincent, you don’t suck…. Look at me… no…. Look me in the eyes. We need you. If you don’t go out there, Kerry Colllins will. As bad as you think you suck, Kerry is much worse. I mean he’s white. He has to suck…. What? No. The fans aren’t booing you. They’re saying ‘boo-urns.’ As in go boo-urn that Jaugars. Come Vincent. Go out there and be the best, below average waste of a top three draft pick you can be. Make me and Ryan Leaf proud.”
Well played Coach Fisher. Fisher knew what was about to happen. Four plays later VY was hit in a collision which ended up spraining his MCL and taking him out at least two week, probably longer. Fisher saw what he was getting from Young. He wasn’t going to be any better than last year and he couldn’t take it anymore. Fisher made a pact with Daryl Smith to hit VY in the knee and hope it would put him at the same rehab facility as Tom Brady. Now Fisher is hoping Collins can do what he did for the NY Gaints in 2000 and just simply not make mistakes. Which could be hard for Collins but when compared to Young, should be easy. If the Titans do well without Young, Fisher found his way to rid himself of VY. Well played coach. And now you signed Chris Simms, bye-bye Vince.
The whole situation left Young confused (it doesn’t take much with a 6 wonderlick score). He was confused why his knee hurt, why the fans were saying “booo-urn,” why his coach wouldn’t respond when he called him Mack but more importantly, why the national media was ripping him when his stats in Madden ‘09 were so damn impressive. Vince couldn’t take it anymore.
He left his home without his cell phone and couldn’t be tracked down for hours. Young was suppose to under go an MRI but never showed up. It was all a misunderstanding. Vince confused MRI with a sufficicated term meaning “Mission to Recover I” with the I standing for me, with the me standing for Vince Young. VY took took that as meaning the team wanted to play hide-and-seek, so he went and hide in the best hiding place he could remember as a kid; behind the couch.
His friends and family couldn’t find him anywhere (Young is a much better hide-and-seek player than a NFL quarterback) and they were concerned because they had never seen Vince so confused, which is really saying something for VY who gets confused when he see’s old Texas games of himself and wonders how he could be in two places at once. The police were called and finally Young was found. Young was very upset. When the police found him all he was saying was “ you cheated, you cheated!!!” Vince decleared himself the winner.
When word got out that the police were trying to find Young, the media couldn’t find him either (they aren’t good hide-and-seekers either) but they did track down Young’s agent. Young’s agent is Major Adams, no doubt a tribute to another former Texas agent Major Applewhite. Major Adams was thrown off by this story but quickly released that he had to have something to do with Young’s lack of intelligence. Not wanting to throw his player (paycheck) under the bus, Adams used South Park’s “some Puerto Rican guy” defense. He said Young was a friend’s house “watching football and eating chicken wings.” When in doubt of where a black guy is, you have a better than 80% chance of being right if you say eating chicken. Major Adams knows this.
The whole story around Vince Young from Sunday and Monday was confusing. I just wanted to get to the bottom of it for my reader(s). I hope this cleared everything up.
