Hitting the trio

All three Cleveland teams have made a little bit of news this morning and since this site was started as a Cleveland sports blog, lets discuss each team.

 

Phil Savage is as big of idiot as The Chocolate Dumpling. Yesterday, the Browns GM denied the team was considering putting Brady Quinn in the game, even though The Chocolate Dumpling already said he was thinking about. Savage said “you don’t go blowing things up after a couple games. You’re not going to be successful in this league doing that.” Hmmm, really, Phil? Do you remember last year when you were the first GM in the history of the NFL to trade an opening day starting quarterback the day after the game? 

Savage continued saying The Chocolate Dumpling has his support but still questions some of his moves. He said, “Some of the criticism he’s brought on himself, there’s no doubt about that.” What criticism was he referring to? “The field goal tries in the first couple of games, the clock situation before the half against Pittsburgh.” At least he didn’t bring up anything from the Cincy game. But my question is, how can a GM give the coach all his support and yet still call him out? An embarrassing loss on MNF to the NYG and look for The Chocolate Dumpling to end up like his deep fried Twinkie tacos, chewed up, shat out and in the toilet.

 

Basketball season is here. The Cavs opened training camp yesterday but that isn’t why basketball season is here. I got my registration sheet for Team River City. I think we got something special going on this year. Almost as special as the Cavs. Both TRC and the Cavs went under a roster change last year. Like TRC, the Cavs have a year (slightly less) of playing together. The Cavs made a nice off season pick up, something TRC may have to do. These thing could only mean one thing for both teams, Championship. 

The Cavs have their best team in the six years of LeBron James’s reign. (Can you believe he has been in the NBA for six year? Sure doesn’t seem that long.) And that’s not just me saying it, that’s what LBJ said: “This is the best team we’ve had since I’ve been here, especially to start off the season. They did a great job of going out and getting players that  could help win a championship. There’s really no excuse now. We have guys that can go out and dominate a game.”

LeBron is aware the only new guy on the team (that will get significant minutes) is Mo Williams, right? I’m not doubting our kings words but he has said the same thing every year. You could say he is just being “politically correct” and my favorite sports phase “saying all the right things,” but I think he is right. This is the year. It has to be. And it will be. Like TRC, the Cavs will be raising a championship trophy. (TRC will be wearing our championship t-shirts.)

 

In the latest, GM’s are the slowest to pick up on the obvious, Mark Shapiro is finally going to move Jhonny Peralta to third, maybe. Shapiro says he is going to bring in another infielder, either a second or third baseman. Just make it a second baseman, move JP to third and get the obvious over with.  

 

FYI – Yes, W is now the most hated and gayest commenter on the site, passing up Graig and Seal for the honor of both. Any future Desperate Housewives talk will be deleted and result in a one day suspension from commenting.

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Beanie’s back, Browns win, it doesn’t get better, does it?

Guess who’s back? That’s right, Beanie is back at the helm and just in time to right the ship that was sinking faster than the New York Mets in September. (Oh, the “thank goodness Beanie isn’t here today” jokes were still funny the 853rd time it was used. Way to be creative people.)

Also getting old is this “You suck more. No you suck more” crap with Ohio State and Michigan. From now on, no more comments about either one of the schools if there is nothing about either in the post. Annoying habits of both fans will result in comments being deleted. And using the school names in the sentence does not count as reason to talk about them. However, this one does. New commenter I hate you all, was right on with his Michigan will win today comment on Saturday morning. That was as good as a prediction as Beanie saying the Indians would finish .500. 

Italy was amazing. I won’t bore you with the details but it was simply amazing — the food, the drinks, the history, the towns, the people (especially the smoking at 18 year old I sat next to on the plan ride home who could barely speak English), and the food (again). If you want to see pictures, I have 396 of them but I figured I’d only post them on request. Now it’s the worst part of returning from any trip, especially one from somewhere sweet like Italy. I have to answer “how was your trip?” 49 times and mostly to people who I really don’t care to talk to.

It sucks to be back. Not so much sucks being in America, but it sucks being here at work. Not working and just eating and drinking was the way to live. 

I really followed nothing in the line of sports while in the homeland. That was one thing I missed and because of it, I have very little to say about what I missed because I don’t know what I missed. Yesterday it was nice to sit around and watch football. However, the football I watched was only a slightly higher quality than what I watch on Friday nights. The Browns and Bengals looked like a bunch of drunk bar guys who decided to get together for a pick-up tackle football game. The second game, the Dallas Washington game was a good game except for Dallas not giving the ball to Felix Jones one time. Really? The dude had a touchdown every game and you don’t let him even touch the ball?

Some notes on the Browns game…

Cleveland won but does anyone feel good about the win? It might go down as the worst ‘W’ of all time.

At least we know the formula for the Browns winning a game is – play a winless team who is using their back-up quarterback who has four  career starts and played his college ball in the Ivy League.

So last year you had 15 touchdowns. This season you are expected to be even better. You are a showy guy who likes attention. Touchdown celebrations is your time to show off. You have all offseason to think about, and practice your celebration for your first TD of the year. You don’t score in the first three games so the anticipation is building in your body for the time to break out your long awaited touchdown celebration. You finally score in the fourth game of the year. You make the catch, spike the ball and what do you do next?

Play the air guitar? And not just a normal air guitar but and rock out, drop to your knee wave your arm around air guitar. Really Braylon? That’s what you did. The air guitar? You should be more ashamed of that than you are of the 76 dropped passes and yelling at Steve Sanders (no not of 90210 fame, although he would be just as good on this team, if not better) about pass routes.

How come Romeo doesn’t understand how time works? At the end of the first half, you have two time-outs left. The Bengals are obviously settling for a field goal and ran the ball with some 40 seconds left on third down. Instead of calling a time out with more than 40 seconds on the clock, you let Cincy run the clock down to 15 seconds (or whatever it was) and give them a 6-3 lead at halftime. Call the timeout, get the ball back with 30 seconds and a time out and you got a chance to tie the game. A good return by Cribbs makes that a very realistic possibility. Another example (this one isn’t as bad since in the long run it didn’t matter) after the fumble recovery in the fourth quarter with 2:04 to play, why not take a shot at the endzone. Obviously running the clock down and kicking a field goal all but assures the win, but the clock is going to stop after the first play because of the two-minute warning so why not take a shot? You got to go for the throat and the “kick ‘em while their down” approach. Not the “I can’t wait until this game is over so I can get a Donato’s pizza with double cheeseburgers as the topping” approach.

The situation is 4th-and-five from the 38-yard line (may not be 100% the situation but very close). Do you a) kick a long field, b) go for it since, c) punt it and get only 18 net yards because the kick is going to more than likely be a touchback, or d) take a time-out and think about it? If you are the Chocolate Dumpling, you go with e) none of the above, take a delay of game penalty, then punt it for a touchback. Good call.

It doesn’t appear the Browns are going to be going to the playoffs this year. Your team looked horrible in the first half (and even worse in the third quarter). Your quarterback was awful and fighting with teammates. Your back-up QB is a dreamboat of a first-round draft pick who looked so good with the wind blowing through his hair on the sideline. The perfect situation to bring in the back-up to start the second half and give this team some new life. But no, the Chocolate Dumpling (looking to the left like he sees someone eating his bucket fried chicken) isn’t that smart. The Browns had no business winning this game but, since the Bengals had even less, someone had to win. I think it should only count as a 1/2 win.

So welcome back to me. I know you missed me all so much.

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Its Friday = Quality Football Predictions

First off I would like to apologize for not posting yesterday. Although I know having nothing to read is usually better than reading what Beanie has to say, I know you have come to expect a certain level of greatness from me and especially J after his award winning women of the sports casting world piece.  I do have one thing to say about that. How does Linda Cohn get no love? Doesn’t pioneerism mean anything to you guys. Personally, I find it quite sexy plus the fact she is probably the only one who not has been with 1500 football players and she is the only one I probably have a realistic chance with. My vote goes for Ms. Cohn.

Some Cleveland news before  I get to my picks and some more sites to increase your world knowledge. The browns were accused of deliberately poking Willis Mcgahee in the eye. Boy do I wish Andra Davis would have poke my eyes out so I didn’t have to watch that mess of a football game. It was kind of like in elementary school when the kid with a stutter was forced to read and the only thing I could think of was please God let me go deaf, or better yet let him go mute. The NFL says Browns (Davis) were not doing in intentionally. I have to question that ruling since McGahee  wears the visor guard the only way to poke his eyes is to reach through the mouth part of the facemask and stick your fingers all the way to the opponenets eyes. Poor Brownies they can’t even get props for playing dirty. At least, we could have always been able to say, “Don’t think of scoring again or else we will poke you in the eyes.” That threat alone could have saved us 10-14 points a game.

In LeBron news, Dan Gilbert has publicly said that the talk of James going to NY in two years is an insult to the city of Cleveland. I don’t think its an insult I just think its a rumor that says people think Cleveland is a shit hole and no one in their right mind would think they could be successful here, seems right on to me. I can think of more things that insult this fine city then LeBron rumors: 1) Romeo Crennel 2) Cavs’ offense 3) Browns’ offense 4) Browns’ defense 5) Romeo Crennel

On to my picks:

COLLEGE FOOTBALL

OREGON STATE over usc – this was supposed to be posted yesterday and by no means did I change my pick form what I had yesterday. Beavers all the way. So much for all that talk of USC being so dominant. But tell me OSU fans what does this say about your team? You lost to a team by 32 points who lost to the Oregon State Beavers who might not win another game all year. And by the way also lost to Penn State by about 50 points. Looking forward to that game against the Nittany Lions. What is a nittany lion? In reference to W’s comment from last night since he has no life and was on JBeanie last night at midnight.  Yes you are right the better team lost last night. I am a man and will admit when something proves me wrong. But i stil say I am right about my better team always wins 99.9% of the time. It was obvious that USC thought they could just show up and win and once OSU scored and had the momentum there was nothing they could do to stop it.  As I said this just shows how bad the buckeyes really are.

OKLAHOMA over tcu – lets see, TCU is now ranked and if every other year in football history as taught me anything its that the horned frogs lose regardless of who they are playing.

GEORGIA over alabama – honestly i don’t like either team and they both are always overrated but Saban is a douche. Although not because he left for more money. I mean who in their right mind would stay at Miami when they are being offered 5 million to go back to college. Would anyone turn down that kind of money?? Hmm…I think I will stay at this dead end go nowhere job just because  I said I would so you can just give those millions of dollars to someone else, you fine company that no one in their right mind would turn down. Right.

WISCONSIN over michigan – being an amazin blue fan, i am not blinded by the fact that we suck (unlike suckeye fans) and i do not see this turning out well for them at all. Last time  I checked Wisconsin was favored by 6.5 points. I am definitely giving the points in this game. I honestly do not see UM winning many games this year. I have always said I do not care if Michigan doesn’t win a single game as long as they beat Ohio State. This might be the year my statement comes as close to true as possible. I’d still rather have a couple wins under our belt.

PENN STATE over illinois – Penn State is good. All they needed was Morelli to never have enrolled or get hurt about 4 years ago.

OHIO STATE over minnesota – takes the Big Ten victories while you can because you have losses coming to illinois, penn state and wisconsin.

NFL

VIKINGS over titans – Gus Freotte versus Kerry Collins version 2008. enough said

BRONCOS over chiefs – i know Jay Cutler has been really really good this year and I wish I drafted him instead of Hasselbeck but I can’t take him seriously because of how he looks.

SAINTS over 49ers – JT OSullivan is in the top five for passer ratings. anyone see that coming? Bush is still healthy which is amazing. Brees throws all over this secondary.

JETS over cardinals – I hate Brett Favre. There I said it. I know my brother has a man crush on him but he is the most selfish person in the NFL not to mention the biggest crybaby.  He retires realizes everyone stopped talking about him so he wants to come back (maybe having to be with his family al lthe time was a reason as well) then he cries because he won’t start just because he is brett favre, and then he cries becuase he can’t go to the vikings. i hate brett favre. I can just picture him not wanting to leave the GB office while the security escorts him away, like when the children services guy took the kid away from Adam Sandler in Big Daddy. I can see Favre saying “But I wipe my own ass. I WIPE MY OWN ASS!!” With Mike McCarthy looking sadly at the man Brett used to be and saying “I know you do Brett. I know you do.” Also, do you think when he is playing football in his wranglers with all his buddies in the backyard that he really wears a T-shirt with the number 4 on it?  I say he does.

BUCS over packers – Brian Griese = Michigan = Last National Championship = Victory.

PANTHERS over falcons – I don’t know. But I hear Vick is benching 305 pounds in prison and is throwing the ball rather well.  When picking teams for football games in prison, think Vick is even allowed to play since I am sure all the pitbull loving drug dealers don’t think of him too kindly or do they let him be all-time quarterback. I don’t think it would be fair to let him just be in the pool of guys waiting to be picked. Umm….with the first choice I can either choose Bubba or Vick, Vick was a NFL QB but on the other hand Bubba might rape me, tough choice.  I am just waiting for a real life The Longest Yard moment.

TEXANS over jaguars- Who cares? Well maybe others do but I dont. I just need Andre Johson to step up his game.

BROWNS over bengals – Why is everyone saying this game is going to be a shootout like last year? Has anyone watched these two offenses this year? Or remember how they looked in their second meeting?  Browns and the Bengals just like the good old days – we both suck.

CHARGERS over raiders – If I was a stud player in college I would definitely do something to make me slip in the draft like get arrested or act out or get out of shape or fake an injury just so I can slip past the top 5 where the raiders are usually at and not have my pro career end before it starts, this way i might get drafted by the patriots or the colts and can look forward to a decent if not excellent career while always competing for a championship. Crap! You’re telling me that the Raiders love t odraft guys with bad sportsmanship and criminal records? Welp now I dont know what to do.

BILLS over rams – I think  i could get 10 other guys and score 25 on the Rams.

COWBOYS over redskins – Graig deal with it your team is the worst team in your division although I will give you the fact that you would be the best team in the AFC north.

EAGLES over bears – I just can’t give a team with Orton any credit even though I love Matt Forte.

RAVENS over steelers – I needed another game with an upset and this is as good as any. How many times throughout the course of the year do you think John Harbaugh will be called Jim? Over/under 76.5

There are my picks, use your money wisely.

SOME LINKS

Think this guy watched Rocketeer once too many times.  http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/09/26/rocket.man.english.channel.ap/index.html

Mother of the Year. (at least a close second to Caylee’s mom) http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/09/25/gang.mom.trial.ap/index.html

For Seal. A plethera of dumb criminals. http://blog.trutv.com/dumb_as_a_blog/dumb_criminals/index.html?cnn=yes

Is this even magic? http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/09/25/david.blaine.stunt.ends.ap/index.html

Impressive. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWLWhU4KuKQ&feature=related

Keep your eye on the little kid running down the sideline at the beginning. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NEvp__hkyng&feature=related

Funny funny stuff. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQlgA68z_L4&feature=related

Haha every one saw this coming but him.                               http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WHRxXY67UA&feature=related

I wonder if he made the team for his skills?                             http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVCDRA6pF7M&feature=related

Alright thats enough. I could find fun clips to go on forever. Have a good weekend BEanie will be back on Monday to share all the new recipes he has learned.

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Happy Humpday

Its Wednesday, Humpday. Some people think this is a reference to making it through to the middle of the work week as getting “over the hump.” I think not. Humpday is clearly the day in the week most people hump at work. Dont know bout you gays but when I think of of the word hump I think of broads, that’s code word for women W. That’s right crazy hot broads. And since this is a sports blog I’m gonna talk about some of my favorite slits (WOMEN, W!) in sports. But not the athletes, no, thats too easy. Today I’m doing the hot sportscasters/sideline reporters(Tehe! Get it? I’m doing them). Ok lets rock!

NOT HOT AT ALL – Linda Cohn

Ok, bad start. She’s not hot at all and kinda looks like if my grandma’s skeleton got a Mystic Tan but still a classic for my generation. At least ESPN was trying to put chics on SportsCenter.

WHERE DID YOU COME FROM HOT – Wendi Nix

So I watch SportsCenter religiously and I feel like I’ve seen her 1,000 times but it wasn’t until the Brett Farve saga when I realized “Whoa! Wendi Nix is sexy.” Just wish I could find a better pic.

UNDERRATED PROFESSIONAL HOT – Suzy Kolber

I’ve always had a lil thang for this lil munckin right here. Always a pro. And after the way she handled that whole Joe Namath thing she seems like the type of girl that’d say “No” when she really means “Yes” and that’s totally hot.

PORNO HOT – Jillian Barberie

This sexpot doesn’t really do sports I guess(maybe she used to) just the weather on FOX’s Sunday morning thing where they talk about football. I call her porno hot because she looks like a typical porn star AND an actual porn star – Janine:

Pretty close right?

PICANTE HOT – Adriana Monsalve

You might recognize this chica as the loco sexy broad that does the ESPN DEPORTES blips on SportsCenter. At least I think that’s her.

FIRECROTCH HOT – Rachelle Nichols

She’s got a firecrotch.

PERFECT HOT – Erin Andrews

C’MON! Way too hot for sports. She should be in movies or my wife of something. Hot, sexy, got that girl next door look goin also. Plus she went to Florida so she probably has a little party girl in her. Perfect.

Well I’m sure I missed a few of your guys favorites. Anybody wanna add to the list?

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A Beanie-less Day = A Wonderful Day

Unbelievable. I had this whole blog ready to go when my damn work computer freezes and now I have to retype everything. Not a happy camper. Anyways, here we go again. Now I am not a writer nor do I pretend to play one on TV so bare with me and I hope I can entertain you for a couple minutes. It can’t be any worse than what is usually on here.

Beanie is in Italy now with our parents visiting our sister who is overseas for a study abroad program. I do not feel that I am missing out at all since they are there to attend a cooking school where they will learn things such as the difference between basil and parsley. Does anyone know? Whats that? No one cares? Me either but Beanie loves it. Cough Homo cough cough. Second reason I don’t care to go there is anything historical I can see in a book and I’m not a fan of the smelly stuck up Europeans. I think they act that way because they know Americans are dominate in all aspects of government and life. I mean have we given any reasons to think otherwise? Oh we have? I dont believe it.  I mean what other country would allow a black man to be nominated for the President of the United States. Only in America. What? A number of other countries have black men, even women, as leaders. No F-ing way. I will believe when I see it. I don’t know why people think Americans are ignorant just because we ignore whats wrong in our country and still think we are the best. Thats just good old fashion patriotism. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

So I want to continue on what J had to say yesterday about the Indians. Yes I give them credit for playing tough all year even though they were out of it in May and Cliff Lee made every fifth game a must see (including tonight against the BoSox) By the way Cliff’s wife is absolutely gorgeous and his kid has a sweet mohawk. I have no blog or any followers to have any backing to this claim but I predicted the Indians would not make the playoffs this season. And I will explain to you why. We have all seen a pattern with this team; 2005=good, 2006=bad, 2007=great, 2008=bad. The reason for this pattern is having expectations and not handling pressure. In 2005, everyone said this team is a year away from contending and what do they do?  They need to win one game against KC to clinch a wild card and get swept (pressure? choke? yes, pattern starts right there). In 2006, everyone said look how good they played at the end of last year, they will definitely make the playoffs. What do they do? They finish about 20 games out of first place. In 2007, everyone says well who knows what they will do this year, they sucked last year. What happens? They come within a game of reaching the World Series. Down 3-1 they realized they were expected to get to the WS and then lose 3 straight. In 2008, they were so good last year they are a sure in to make the World Series. And we all know what happened this year.  These guys choke under pressure, its a given. They handle pressure about as well as the girl who is being chased by a deranged psycho killer and chooses to run upstairs rather than outside. I blame wedge.

Romeo is becoming an embarassment. His conferences are a joke and he looks confused at all times. I can’t wait for Romeo to be in those Coors Light commercials that will have him just stare blankly at the beer guys while not knowing how to answer their questions except with a “we have to look at the tape” or “not sure” comment. I am afraid the Browns have turned into the Tribe when dealing with pressure and expectations. Thank goodness LeBron will not let that happen with the Cavs.

I also wanted to write about Tim Donaghy going to prison today but I’m pissed after writing about the Indians and I realize no one cares about him anymore.  Al lI know is he must have done something or said something good to get his 25 years turned into a 15 month stay at a minimum security prison.

Now time to follow some news in the world. I need to keep you guys well rounded unlike the Beanie:

-I dominated Seal in our fantasy matchup. 103-83.something, better luck next time.

-Poor Idaho fans they lose the only thing that probably kept them coming to games. http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/football/ncaa/09/23/idaho.cheerleaders.ap/index.html?cnn=yes

-why i hate europeans, they definitely made this up because they are jealous of us. http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/europe/09/22/uk.stonehenge.healing.ap/index.html

-Run DMC is finally getting their due. http://www.cnn.com/2008/SHOWBIZ/Music/09/22/rockhall.nominees.ap/index.html

-In case you might care (W i am looking at you)     http://nfl.fanhouse.com/2008/09/22/that-hot-hefner-girl-and-hank-baskett-might-be-engaged-and-datin/?icid=100214839x1209634514x1200558185

-In case you might care II (looking at you again W) http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/crush/shes-just-being-miley/61?nc

-Good news…maybe http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080923/bs_nm/us_markets_oil5;_ylt=Aqpk6FeOitd09uvHiBR7Ofis0NUE

-Really? This is why Americans are the best.  http://www.funpages.com/dumbcriminals/

-And finally, my new favorite secret agent/action hero          http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPlfzFZGl0o&feature=related

Hope everyone enjoyed.

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State of the Union Address

Well this is my first post in a very long time so cut me some slack, I’m just filling in here. I believe in short, sweet, to the point and very non-W and Scott posts. So as a nice warmer upper a short overview of the 3 major Cleveland sports teams. Here we go…

BROWNS

OK this is bad. Like, really really bad. 0-3!? Really? Only two teams in the modern era of football have made the playoffs after an 0-3 start and both of them lost in the first round. What a disappointment. Every aspect of this team is crap right now. All the questions coming into this season have been answered. Can the Browns handle the high expectations of a decent 07 season and 5 nationally televised games? No. Was keeping DA the right choice? Nope. Did Romeo deserve a contract extension after one decent season. Not at all. Can the defense improve? Actually I don’t think the D has been that bad, its the O that sucks right now. At least the Indians season wasn’t completely over after the first three weeks. And speaking of the Tribe…

INDIANS

Don’t look now but the Tribe is 1 game above .500! Looks like Beanie was right. Yeah I know everybody (Including myself) predicted playoffs and World Series but hey, give this team some credit. They never really gave up and have been busting their butts all the way to the end of the season. Give Wedge some credit for actually getting these guys to play after:

“Star” DH lies about an “injury”(we still don’t know what was really wrong with him) and goes down for basically the entire season.

All-Star catcher tries playing through an injury and also basically goes down for the entire season.

#2 Pitcher done for a year plus.

#1 Best Pitcher in baseball traded.

Clubhouse guy Casey Blake traded.

Porno addict Byrd traded.

I’ll cut the front office, manager and players some slack this year. Sure there are question marks all over the field for next year but guess what? You heard it here first – Tribe = 09 World Series Champs!

Cavs

Training camp is right around the corner right? After this seasons Tribe and Browns my expectations are rock bottom for this team. I do believe anything is possible with LeBron James on your team. Including him leaving Cleveland for New York. More on that next time.

J

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Good-bye

Just a quick thought today.

What the hell happened in the comment section yesterday? That was pretty annoying.

Just to let you know about the hero of this blog, BILLY has signed a contract to play in Greece next year. 

It’s national Talk Like A Pirate Day… RRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (Really wish I had a hook hand today)

Saw Tropic Thunder on Monday, that movie is awesome. Very funny and it’s one of those movies that will only get better the more you see it. Tom Cruise, as gay as he is, was awesome. So was Robert Downey Jr.

Exactly 24 hours until I leave for Italy.

  This is where I’m staying.

Good-bye my friends. I leave you in the abnormally small hands of hairy J. And even more abnormally large forehead of S. Enjoy.

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Last Post… and some picks

It is with great sadness that I announce today will be my last J Beanie post.

 

For sometime, at least until Sept. 29, maybe later. I need to take a break and clear my mind from all the ridiculous comments, thoughts, opinions and predictions my readers have filled my head with. I need to refresh. I need to fall in love with sports all over again. I need a break from W. 

I have been thinking about it for some time. The best way to do this is to take a vacation. I have always wanted to go to Italy, so there is no better time than now. I leave Saturday morning. I’ll be gone for eight days. To my faithful followers, try to find a way to cope with my absence. It will be hard, but like Lisa getting over her Corey line addiction, the first 24 hours will be the worst. If you can get through that, you can get through anything. I think I’ll have Internet overseas (did you know the Internet is world wide?) so I may check in a few times. But really, I’ll be in Italy, there is so many better things to do than check J Beanie. But for my minions, I may just shoot you a line.

It will be hard to follow sports while I’m over there and I’m not happy about missing so many football games, but I think my dream trip to Italy wins out over a Troy-Ohio State game. I want to take this opportunity to make a few predictions that I won’t see happen or not happen while I’m gone.

MLB 

• The Mets won’t win the East. 

• But will make the playoffs thanks to the Brewers doing their best Mets impression.

• I don’t care how many security guards and cops are at Yankee Stadium on the last day, those fans are still going to tear stuff out of there.

College Football

• Michigan will only lose one game while I’m gone.

• Ohio will be Northwestern. MAC over Big Ten baby!

• At least one top five team will lose. I’m thinking Florida to Tennessee.

• Or Arizona State over Georgia.

• Notre Dame wins two games.

• Syracuse finally wins a game when it beats Pittsburgh.

• Butch Davis goes WWE style and tackles his own quarterback on the potential game-winning drive when North Carolina plays at Miami, then rips of his powder blue polo and reveals a big orange “U” on his chest.

• Colorado beats Florida State showing FSU’s top 25 ranking is as big of a joke as their graduation rate.

• TCU gives Oklahoma a scare.

NFL

Week Three picks  (13-14 on the year)…

ATLANTA vs Kansas City – then the two argue over which is worse, starting Joey Harrington or Tyler Thigpen.

BUFFALO vs Oakland 

CHICAGO vs Tampa Bay

HOUSTON at Tennessee

MINNESOTA vs Carolina

NEW ENGLAND vs Miami

NY GIANTS vs Cincinnati

WASHINGTON vs Arizona

DETROIT at San Francisco

SEATTLE vs St. Louis – for the last two games, can the NFL just cancel them and give all four teams a loss. Wouldn’t that save the teams some embarrassment and the fans some agony.

DENVER vs New Orleans 

PHILY vs Pittsburgh

INDY vs Jacksonville

DALLAS at Green Bay

NY JETS at San Diego – I wonder what creative way the Chargers will lose by this week?

CLEVELAND at Baltimore

 

Week 4

CLEVELAND at Cincy – If the Browns don’t win both these games, I wouldn’t be surprised to see Romeo fired and Derek Anderson traded, maybe to Tennessee or Chicago. But they’ll win both and 2-2 at the bye week could be alright.

MINNESOTA at Tennessee

DENVER at Kansas City

NO vs San Fran

NY JETS vs Arizona

GREEN BAY at Tampa

CAROLINA vs Atanta

HOUSTON at Jax

SAN DIEGO at Oakland

BUFFALO at St. Louis

DALLAS vs Washington

PHILY at Chicago

PITTS vs Baltimore

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The best trophies in sports

When the biggest news on ESPN.com is the Rays beating the Red Sox (that’s baseball for all you who forget the season was still going on) you know it’s a boring day in the world of sports. That gives me an excuse to pull out one of my world famous lists. A while back we did the top ten sporting events I’d like to attend. Today, it’s the top ten trophies I’d like to win. The list is based on a combination of things. It takes popularity into account (like obviously the NFL is more popular than hockey), coolness of the trophy (but obviously the Stanley Cup is cooler than the Lambordi Trophy) and personal feelings. Team championships were worth more than individual trophies unless the trophy was really cool. So what is the most conveted sports trophy? Read on to find out.

Honorable mention: The Master’s green jacket (the only time people can’t make fun of you for wearing a green sports coat), the Claret Jug (like a mini Stanley Cup), an ESPY (just to be in that room would be cool), NASCAR’S trophy whatever it’s called (I could care less about racing but the trophy is huge) and my fantasy football league trophy (either one, even if it is just a mythical, cyberspace trophy).

10. The Commissioner’s Trophy (World Series) - Came in behind NBA and NFL because if I had to list what championship I’d want Cleveland teams to win, it’d be the Super Bowl, the NBA Championship, then the World Series.

 

 

9. Larry O’Brien Trophy (NBA Championship) - Not the best looking trophy (the World Series trophy is much cooler) but I want to grab the ball at the end of a dramatic Game 7 a la Michael Jordan, and then cry on the trophy like Jordan. I guess I wanna be like Mike. 

 

 

8. Wanamaker Trophy - How come the least important major in golf has the coolest trophy? The thing is massive. 

 

 

 

7. A Gold Medal - Just think of what a gold medal would bring to you? Fame, fortune, getting put on a Wheaties box, and I would defiantly wear it all the time like a necklace.

 

 

 

6. Heisman Trophy - How sweet would this look on your mantle? Or as a car ornament? Just a sweet, sweet trophy and who doesn’t want to be linked to Jason White, Chris Weinke, Danny Wuerffel, Rashaan Salaam and Eric Crouch?

 

 

 

5. BCS Championship - Does any other trophy have a removal part that you could throw around? I’d love to play catch with that crystal football as long as I wasn’t throwing it to Braylon Edwards.

 

 
4. Final Four trophy/net - The trophy itself isn’t anything special, but the tournament is one of the greatest sporting events of the year. But if you got to keep the net, it would make it a lot cooler.

 

 

3. Heavyweight Championship Belt - It’s not what it once was, but come on. To say you are the heavyweight champion of the world is something only like 148 guys can say.

 

 

2. Lombardi Trophy (NFL) – Winning the biggest game, in the biggest sport (in America and really isn’t that all that matters), in the most watch event of the year, and you get to raise the trophy. Got to be a sweet feeling.

 

 

1. Stanley Cup (NHL) - There’s just something about it. The history, the size, how tough it is to win, the fact you can drink beer out of it. You know how each member of the winning team gets it for a day, well I’d kidnap the Cup so we can spend the rest of our lives together.

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He will be missed

 

I learned of some sad, sad news yesterday. The kind of news hat when you hear it, you just stop everything and sit there opened mouth making sure you read/heard it right. It takes your breath away the same a kick to the stomach does, the same as looking at an overweight gross women who wears a shirt just short enough for her fat rolls to hang out under her shirt and above her pants. I read the news at work and had to go to the bathroom to compose myself. It couldn’t be. I came back to see if I had read it wrong or it was a joke news story. Nope, the sentence still read the same:

Even though there’s been no announcement, the Cavaliers have waived swingman Billy Thomas. The transaction occurred on Sept. 8. After the signing of Delonte West on Friday, the Cavs now have 15 players under contract heading into the start of training camp. The 6-foot-5, 220-pound Thomas had a contract worth $826,269 for the 2008-09 season. But it wasn’t guaranteed. 

It was just a few months ago when BILLY was brought back to the Cavs and signed a contract for the 2008-09 season. All was right in the world. Now, in an instant, he’s gone. Back in to the basketball world of uncertainty.

The fact that there was no announcement makes you wonder. Were the Cavs trying to sneak this one by their fans, especially the BILLY lovers of J Beanie? Did they know there would be an uproar (from four of us)? Why were the Cavs being sneaky? What are they trying to hide? Are they hoping if there isn’t announcement, no other team will know BILLY is a free agent again and won’t sign him in the hopes of bring him back to the team if someone gets injured? If that’s the case, let’s hope West and Sasha get hurt. I don’t like anyone to get hurt but I want BILLY on our team.

Now that BILLY is gone, we here at J Beanie will do our best to keep up with BILLY’s where abouts. He is back at what he knows best; struggling to find a team. I think he’ll either end up on another NBA team or play next season in Europe again. He’s done this his whole career and I know he’ll be fine. It’s just saying good-bye which is so hard. 

As we morn the loss of such a good friend, good basketball player and favorite Cavalier since Mark Price, let’s look back on some memories and remember BILLY for what he was, a gunner who loved to shoot and a hero to us all.

We were first introduced to BILLY on Feb. 22, the day after the big trade, in a game against the Washington Wizards. Here’s what I said then…

But my favorite part of the whole game was Billy Thomas. The NBDLer didn’t take his NBA moment for granted. He fired up 11 three-point attempts. That’s pretty impressive especially since he only played 19 minutes. I love it. He only made three but that didn’t stop him from shooting. He said, I know I shouldn’t be playing right now but I also know I may never get to play meaningful NBA minutes again, I’m going for it. Good for him. Keep shooting, Billy, where ever you may be.

From Feb. 29…

As good as it will be to see Hughes suck it up for some other team, what I’m looking forward to the most is seeing Billy Thomas. Please, Mike Brown, if you have a soul and care for the fans of the Cavs, you will play Billy. Even if he doesn’t get in, there’s a good chance I’ll wait for him outside the arena to get his autograph. PLEASE PUT IN BILLY THOMAS.

From April 17…

Before the season finale last night, the Cavs made their smartest move of the year and it shocked and inspired every Cavs fan across this great nation. Midway through the third quarter against Detroit in a game which neither team cared about, guess made his triumphant return to the Wine and Gold. That’s right. BILLY FREAKIN’ THOMAS!!!! 

The hero of this blog has been signed for the rest of the year, the playoffs, and get this, all of next year. This is the smartest move made by Danny Ferry since he took over as GM. BILLY is an inspiration who never gave up on his dreams. He can be the emotional power this team needs to rally around. During his two ten-day contracts at the end of February and early March, the Cavs went 4-2 with him on the team. Without BILLY, the Cavs were 11-11. In the playoffs, all you need to be is one game over .500 for the series and you move on. BILLY can make that happen. 

When I saw BILLY THOMAS enter the game last night, I felt like had I just seen Santa putting my presents under the tree. My phone wasn’t on me so I ran upstairs to get it so I could send a message to dedicated blogger Rosie. He beat me to the punch. He was at the game and at 9:06, this is what he sent me: Holy FUCKING BILLY THOMAS! WHERE DID HE COME FROM. I GAVE HIM A STANDING O WHILE THE PEPS NEXT TO ME SAID WHO THE F IS THAT?

Two things can be derived from that text message. One, true Cavs fans are as excited about this as they were when the Cavs won the Eastern Conference last year, and two, the guys next to Rosie aren’t true Cavs fans.

If, and when the Cavs win the East again, much will be made about how LeBron did it with a mediocre cast and all the same boring story lines from last year. Some talk will be about how the trades finally paned out and the team gelled together when it mattered. All that will be true, but the real reason behind the Cavs repeating as Eastern Conference champions will be the presence of BILLY THOMAS. 

From April 22…

LeBron made key plays down the stretch to win Game 1. Game 2 the Cavs just dominated. You can say the difference was the defense or Wally and Ben playing like it was 2003 or it was LBJ again, but I’ll tell you the difference. I think you all know what it is. Say it will me now… BILLY FREAKIN’ THOMAS. BILLY made an appearance last night its no coincidence the Cavs pounded the Wizards. The easy thinking is BILLY played because the Cavs were up so much. I disagree. I say, the Cavs were up by so much because BILLY played. But he only played the final four minutes, you say. I say, the threat of BILLY coming in the game was enough to scare the Wizards. BILLY’S mare presence on the bench was enough to intimidate the Wizards. Let’s look at BILLY’S stat line for the four minutes he played. Scored three points on 1-of-1 shooting and had an assist. Project that out over 25 minutes a game and that’s over 18 ppg and almost seven assists. I need to get me a BILLY THOMAS jersey.

From Graig on April 8…

You guys as GM would be a disaster. But you could make it up for it with one signing. New Indians closer…Billy Thomas.

From May 16…

Game 6 of the Boston-Cleveland series is tonight. Mr. Game 6 himself Daniel Gibson will not play. Gibson has been great in Game 6’s the last two years. This isn’t a good sign for the Cavs… or is it? With Boobie out of the line up, someone is going to have to get his minutes. It will probably be someone who hasn’t played any significant minutes. Someone who has been stuck on the end of the bench. Someone who can come off the bench, play the 2-guard position and be ready to shoot, and make, the 3-ball even though he hasn’t shot one in a game for about a month. You know who fits that description… that’s right… BILLY FREAKIN THOMAS. BILLY could dress tonight and should see the floor. The last time he shed his suit for shorts, he canned several big threes. He’s a gunner. He’s a shooter. He’s a winner. Put BILLY in. Give him a chance and he won’t let you down. This is BILLY FREAKIN THOMAS we are talking about. BILL-Y… BILL-Y…BILL-Y… and BILL-Y-THOM-AS, clap, clap, clap-clap-clap, should be what rings out in The Q tonight. Rosenberg, make this happen.

Oh the memories. If you can read that without crying, you are a better man than me. I’ll miss you BILLY. Thanks for the memories and I know there will be plenty more down the road. (I don’t think I’ve ever been this sad over a break-up before.)

Who knows, now that he is a free agent, maybe Team River City can sign him.

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