What’s going on with the USA? What’s this world coming to? Our once dominate athletic teams aren’t so dominate anymore. Are they under the leadership of or military? Let’s take it one-by-one.
Softball. Really? You lose to Japan? How does this happen? Japan. The country where a person over 5’5” is considered tall. The country where they choose to eat rice over steak. The country where their game shows involve goats, tricycles, urine and mayonnaise. The country where their porn is so bizarre you don’t want your friends to know you look at it. The country where their cartoons make you have seizures. This is the country who beat you. In softball. The sport you own. The sport they are taking out of the Olympics because no one can compete with you. The sport you haven’t lost in what seems like 85 years. Good work girls. Way to do your country proud and go out with a bang.
Track. Ummmm what are you guys doing? You know the point, and only point of this sport is to run fast, right? And you are really going to let Jamaican’s dominate you. Really? Those pot heads are better than you? Come on. There’s no way weed makes you run faster. That’s embarrassing. And the “fastest man in America” can’t even place in the top four of a qualifying race? Well, at least those of you who lost to the Jamaicans actually finished the race. Unlike the 4×100 relay teams. Really guys? It’s a baton. You know, a short little stick. You hand it to the person in front of you. Don’t let go until the get it and when you feel it in your hand, you grab it. Don’t let it fall. Then there was that guy in the 200 who was disqualified for stepping out of his lane. They asked him what happened. “Nothing.” Reporter: “You stepped out of your lane.” Runner: “I didn’t think so.” Reporter: “You did. What now?” Runner: “Protest.” Then gives the peace sign and leaves. Sweet.
Oh, and when running the hurdles, you may want to jump over all of them, not just eight of the ten.
World Champions in the women’s 200 and 400 couldn’t win and even our “countryman” we stole from Kenya couldn’t make the finals in the event he holds the world record in.
Track was such a disappointment, it prompted USA Track & Field to conduct a comprehensive review of all the programs. That’s how bad it has been. They can’t even wait until the games are over to do it.
Hell, our gymnast can’t even beat 12-year old Chinese girls.
But at least we have women’s soccer. And women’s basketball. Good work there girls.
God Bless America.
How good did I look on TV? Who fell in love? Tony Rizzo called me B. Nice. Thanks T.
G$. Us Akron-ites are invading C-Bus/Dublin this weekend starting tonight. Interested in ending our Internet relationship and starting a real life one? Or at least one night of drunken passion?