I’m ashamed of myself. For the second time in less than a month I forgot a very important birthday. Last month I forgot to say happy birthday to dedicated reader/commenter Frank. As bad as that was, the birthday I forgot yesterday takes the cake (pun intended). It was the good old boy, Austin Carr’s 60th birthday. I don’t know how I could have over looked that. I guess I overlooked it they way FSN/Cavs management overlooks AC worthless presences during Cavs games. I’m sorry AC. I hope this post dedicated to you will make things a little better in that crazy head of yours.

Carr was born in Washington D.C. in 1948. He had a great basketball career before becoming the worse color man in the history NBA broadcasts. He played three years at Notre Dame where he averaged more thand 34 points per game. He holds the record for most points scored (60), most field goals made in a game (25) and most field goals attempted (44) in an NCAA tournament game. AC was named by ESPN as the 22nd greatest college basketball player of all time. (If ESPN did a list of the top players turned broadcasters, where would AC rank? 483? 5,397? 9,298? 15,930?)
Carr was drafted by the Cleveland Cavaliers in 1971. He helped the Cavs reach the playoffs three times, losing the Celtics in the 1976 Eastern Conference Finals, losing in the first round in 1977 to the Bullets and again in the first round in 1978 to the Knicks. Carr retired in 1981 with career averages of 15.4 points, 2.9 rebounds, 2.8 assists. Carr’s #34 jersey is retired by the Cavs (what does that say about the history of your franchise if a guy who averaged numbers worse than Larry Hughes has his number retired?)

As we all know now, Carr has moved on to be the Cavs color commentator on FSN, the role we have really come to know, love/hate, AC. We hate because he’s awful. We love because he’s awfully entertaining. In honor of his birthday, here are some of AC’s classic lines.
“The Cavaliers have to focuse and keep Gay out of their mixture.”
“No, no, no. No nap for me.”
“He’s on pace to average what he’s been averaging in the 4th quarter.”
“You have to get the trip out of your system.”
“Ha ha ha ha ha (giggle, giggle)”
“The L-Train all way, hey hey hey.”
“The L-Train takes flight.”
“The Cavs have come all the way back.” (They were still down 10)
“I think the Cavs need to score here if they what to have a chance to win the game.” (down by one with 30 seconds to play)
“The Cavs cannot allow a lesser team like _______ to see the road at the end of the rainbow.”
“Sasha (or any player)… from the corner… Yeah… hahahahaha.”
“It’s time for a Digiorno’s Pizza.”
“Yeah… hahahahahaha.”
He as so many more but I can’t think/find any others right now. I think I’m going to start writing down all the stupid things I hear him say and the post them every once in a while. That should be entertaining especially as the playoffs are coming up.
AC, you are awful. But you know what, the more I think about all the stupid things you say, the more I appreciate you. I don’t know what Cavs fans would do if we had an intelligent commentator behind the mic. Keep up the good, mediocre work AC. For your birthday I hope you eat as many Digiorno’s Pizzas as you possibly can. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUSTIN CARR!
Fratello