The weekend is here, Yippy! But what a boring weekend of sports, Booo! This could be the worst stretch of sports all year. There is just one football game left and it’s not this weekend, college basketball doesn’t get great until the end of February, the NBA season is still dragging on, the NHL is the NHL, no baseball besides the steroid talk that is more annoying than “Brady in a boot talk,” golf is out there but really only the majors are worthy of a sit-down-watch-all-the-way-through (golf now is better for naps) and tennis only comes on late at night or when normal people are sleeping. But at least the Winter X Games have started!!!
Of course, I’ll still watch most of these things (minus the X Games if you couldn’t pick up that sarcasm) so let’s take a look at our best options to fill the weekend with sport TVing.
Tonight the Women’s Australian Open women’s final. The best part about this is there are two smokin’ hot 20 year olds sweating it out in little skin tight dresses. I’m a tennis player and love the game and probably would watch bits and pieces of this match no matter who was playing in it, but with Maria and surprisingly underrated hottie Ana Ivanovic playing, I’ll tune with more attention and frequency.
Also tonight, the Cavs host the Phoenix Suns. The Cavs haven’t beat the Suns in two years. They are playing great ball winning five in a row so hopefully that continues tonight and they beat the Suns. Hell, if Minnesota can do it twice in a year, the Cavs should be able to do it once. Just play like the T’wolves do; sloppy, reckless and like they really don’t care what happens. That seems to work. This will be the first game the Cavs play without Sasha Pavlovic. On the surface it doesn’t seem like much of a loss since Sasha hasn’t been playing that well is averaging something like 7 points a game. But as we dig deeper it means much more. Devin Brown probably moves into the starter role when he’s much better off the bench and playing a reserve role. That means there has to be another guard to play Brown’s backup minutes. Oh no! The other guards are Ira Newble and Eric Snow! That can’t be good. Plus it probably means more minutes for Kitten Killer Larry which in turn means more minutes for LeBron since he will have to do a lot more to make up for KKL chucking up horrible shot after horrible shot.
Cavs also play the Lakers on Sunday at 3:30. It’s not quite football but at least there will be something watchable on Sunday afternoon.
The best college games on TV Saturday are Gonzaga at Memphis (noon on ESPN), UConn at Indiana (1pm on CBS), Texas A&M at Oklahoma St. (2, ESPN) USC at Oregon (9, FSN Ohio,) and Sunday the best the networks could do is Michigan at Michigan State (1, CBS) and that’s not even a real game. It’s like varsity verse junior varsity.
Let us not forget U.S. Championships figure staking on Saturday and Sunday on NBC, or the NHL All-Star Game on Verses on Sunday at 6:00 (if anyone can name three players in that game I won’t believe you and I’d say you have a better chance of doing that than you do of knowing what channel Verses is off the top of your head), or more X Games, or the always popular H&R Block Tournament of Champions (PBA [that’s bowling]).
My goodness this is going to be bad. Even the Aussie men’s final is being played at 3:30 a.m Saturday into Sunday and even if it was on at 2 on Saturday afternoon no one would watch it because Federer isn’t in it. It’s going to be a long, uneventful weekend of TV watching. Hell, maybe it will give me time to go outside and do… nah, I’ll tough it out in front of the TV. Of course, a bunch of naps and Wii playing will be scattered in. This is the type of weekend that makes you wish football was played year round.