So let’s see what happened in the world of sports last night. No baseball. No NFL. No college football. So sports fans were left with a choice preseason basketball or the lost League of National Hockey. After about five minutes of watching the Cavs, I couldn’t handle it and watched my taped episodes of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
With absolutely no sports on last night, the Yankees still dominating headlines for some unknown reason and me saving the Indians-Red Sox preview until tomorrow, I’m struggling to find something to write about today. So that means we’ll turn our attention to the sports right handed man, beer.
Miller and Coors, the country’s second and third largest brewers behind Anheuser-Busch will merge. A very interesting move for all beer lovers. Anheuser Busch controls roughly 48 percent of the US market while Miller was just under 18 percent and Coors just over 10.
I’m surprised Coors sold out like this. Does this now mean we’ll have to see commercial of Dr. Cox talking about how the new Moors beer is brewed in a good call because it’s a frost brewed taste that’s cold as the Rockies.
Miller will own 58 percent of the new MillerCoors. So what happens to Coors Field? Is it now MillerCoors Field? The Field formerly known as Coors?
If you didn’t know, Coors also makes Molson. I just hope they find a way to make a combination of Miller High Life and Molson XXX. Maybe something like Miller XXX Life. Who wouldn’t drink that beer?
MillerCoors could ride this wave until successful with a new line of beers and new marketing. I already said a few of my new beer ideas – Moors, Miller XXX Life – but what they really should do is combine Miller Lite and Coors Light and have Miller Light and/or Coors Lite. Or simply the name of the new company MillerCoors as the standard beer. That would be perfect because most of my friends, and myself included, prefer Miller Lite over Coors Light. In certain situations, we are forced to either choose one or the other or go out of our way to buy both. If there was a MillerCoors, all problems solved. This could be the first step in world peace.
As far as the marketing goes, that’s simple. Bring back the twins (who didn’t love those commercials. The only reason they got annoying was because SportsCenter made the guy sing it to highlights from the NFL). But bring back two sets of twins. One in Coors gear. One in Miller gear. Have them walking down the street or somewhere when they run into each other. They start arguing about what beer is better. Words come to shoves, shoves leads to wrestling, wrestling leads to the girls realizing how stupid it is to go to blows over beer. Then they all hug and make up. Perfect.
And, yes, MillerCoors, you can use any of these ideas as long as I get some kind of payment.
