Almost strike three, and a semi running dairy of the Michigan-Notre Dame game

OK, I’m back after the wedding. Just turned the Michigan-Notre Dame game on to see Michigan kick a field goal and then ND fumble and Michigan recover at the 20.  I’m stealing Bill Simmons work and doing a semi-running dairy.

 

Before we get started let me tell you about Strike Two-and-a-half.  I went to get lunch from a nice little Italian place I saw. After ordering, I went to get some beer.  I went to a gas station, no beer. I guess in PA they don’t sell beer at gas stations.  So then I go to a drive-thru that had a sign saying beer here.  I go in, order a 12 pack and the guy says he can only sale the beer by the case. 

 

“I don’t want to drink that much,” I said.

 

“Well, I have cases of 10oz. cans,” the clerk said.

 

“Is it like that everywhere?”

 

“Well, yeah, expect you could go to a bar or tavern.  They’ll sell you a six pack or 12 pack.”

 

“Fine, just give me the case.  I’ll drink it sometime.”

 

(TOUCHDOWN MICHIGAN, as I write this.  10-0.  ND sucks)

 

So I got back to my hotel room with a meatball sub, two personal pan pizzas (saving those for late night after the bars) and a case of Miller Lite 10 oz. cans.  What a day.

 

Back to the game.

 

Why is Mike Golic introducing the ND defense?  That is the dumbest thing I’ve seen since ranking UM fifth to start the year.  I missed it but I’m guessing Desmond Howard introduced UM’s line-up, didn’t he?

 

If ND is the only team that makes Michigan look bad, and an I-AA team makes Michigan look horrible, the Irish are in for a long season.

 

4:01 – ok Howard was a no go.  It was Shawn Crable.

 

4:02 – if ND keeps snapping the ball over the QB head, why don’t they go to a non-shot gun snap.  ND’s offense is terrible.  If they make Michigan’s defense look good, then you know you are bad. Another fumble, another sack.  I like this ND team.  All us Blue fans thank you for being so crappy.

 

4:04 – Hart might have 60 carries by the end of the game. 

 

4:12 – Graham just had Michigan’s best hit/tackle of the year, causing another fumble by ND.

4:13 – End of first quarter and finally Michigan looks “good.” Leading 10-0. These 10 oz. cans make you feel like you are a drinking champ.

 

4:18 – Touchdown Mike Hart. He’s guarantee is looking pretty good. You think Lloyd Carr decided to just give it to him 60 times so if they loss he could say, “Well, Hart guaranteed the win, he let him try to win it and he didn’t.” or did Lloyd finally realize he has a great back and he should be throwing the ball 70 percent of the time.

 

423 – AFLAC trivia question:  Who is credited with calling Michigan Stadium, “The Big House?”  My first guess was Keith Jackson.  Let’s see if I’m right, as Michigan gets another sack. If four guys are in on a sack, does the each get a .25 of a sack?

 

4:25 – INT Michigan. Have they had a possession that didn’t start in ND territory yet?

 

4:29 – OK, I get it.  Hart guaranteed a win. He’s having a good game. He’s Michigan’s best player. Yes. Thanks. As much as I love it, I don’t need reminded of it every time he carries the ball. And did you know Jerome Bettis is from Pittsburgh.

 

4:30 – That was great. The Quarterback throwback and the quarterback falls down.  I love it.  Looked like an 8^th grade play but when you’re playing ND, you’re allowed to go to the back of the play book.

 

4:34 – TOUCHDOWN MICHIGAN. First of Mallett’s career. Could this be the next average, standard, big white guy quarterback at Michigan to pass Henne and Navarre as all-time passing leader? Probably. (Why doesn’t Michigan ever go after the athletic quarterbacks? OK by that, I mean the black quarterbacks.)

 

4:40 –   Great call by ND for the fake punt.  They should just line up to punt on every play. Either punt it, or fake it, either way it’s better than what Clossin is going to do.

 

4:42 – AFLAC trivia answer: Keith Jackson.  I’m so good. (Along the same lines, at some random bar last night, I won 10 credit and scored 16 million some odd points on the trivia game thing they have at bars doing sports trivia. I challenge anyone to that game.)

 

4:46 – Did they really just talk about Jake Long’s cell phone?  Man, this game really is boring. Oh, and by the way, Hart’s good.

 

5:03 – so the last 17 minutes have been this; ND sucks, Hart runs, and now Michigan scores. 

 

So it’s almost halftime, Michigan is up 31-0. This game is over (of course I’ve thought about deleting that sentence because as soon as I write it, Michigan will blow the game.)

  

Half time interview, before the reporter can ask a question, who he him say “you can ask one question,” yet, she asks two. Gutsy reporter.

 

It’s almost time for the reception so this ends the first ever J Beanie rip-off of Bill Simmons running diary.

 

One last thought.  I hope some how, some way, this game give the Michigan defense, and whole team, confidence. I hope some how, some way, this turns the season around. My boss at work still thinks they will compete for the Big Ten Title and I hope he’s right.  After this game, it give us hope since there is no my spread offenses (besides Illinois). That should really help Michigan.  Maybe they can really go 10-2 and go to the Rose Bowl.  Wouldn’t that be something? 

 

 Time to go to the open bar.  I’ll se you all Monday (Maybe)

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Two strikes in Erie and a final thought on Michigan

So here I am, sitting alone in my hotel room in Erie, PA. We’ll get to some sports in a minute but first let me tell you about yesterday. We get to the hotel at about 5:30. The girlfriend has to be at the church for rehearsal for the wedding at 6:30. I tell her I’ll just drop her off at the church then pick her up when it’s over and we’ll go to the dinner. She says, “No, you have to come to the church too. All the dates of the wedding party are.” OK, so I go to the church and what awaits me; NO OTHER DATES. Just the wedding party and family. So here I am looking like a jackass just sitting in church while they go over the wedding. Strike One.

 

Then after the hour or so at the church, we are finally on our way to dinner. We’re driving and then we go into a state park. “Oh crap” I thought right away. “You can’t have alcohol at a state park.” Sure enough, we find our cabin (which is weird in itself that a rehearsal dinner is at cabin) and then they only have water and pop to drink. Dinner itself was OK but no alcohol? Come on. Who does that?  Strike Two.

 

If there is a strike three today I’m not going to be a happy camper. At least I’m all by myself now, watch College Game Day, about to go get some food and some beer and then just sit here until 3 watching football. I think I’ll be back by 4 to watch the afternoon games so I’m happy about that.

 

Anyway, I was talking with the one and only other Michigan fan at my work on Friday. We were talking and then I realized Michigan hasn’t won a game since Bo Schembechler died (OSU, USC, App St., Oregon). Not only have they lost those, they haven’t been close in any of them (yeah, they lost to APS by 2 but that counts a blow out). We came to the conclusion that Bo and Woody Hayes must be up in heaven playing poker. Instead of playing for money, they are playing for wins for Michigan and OSU. Woody is kicking his ass.  My guess is Bo had what he thought was a great hand, maybe a straight flush, and went all in thinking he’ll win easily. Much like how Michigan entered the season; thinking they had a great team. Then Woody flops down a royal flush and Bo flips the table over as Woody just sits there laughing saying “You owe me the whole season.” That’s the only logical explanation for what is going this seasons for Michigan. Damn you Bo, why did you have to die. If Michigan loses today, you know this is has to be true.

 

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