The Golf Gods are everywhere. They don’t just affect the professionals or club pros or the avid golfer or the semi regular or even the guy at the muni course who is wearing a visor, knickers, plays slower than Ben Crane playing with Rory Sabbatini taking practice swing after practice swing only to duff the ball 55 yards and when he finally reaches the green, takes the time to line up his putt from every angle possible and still misses the putt by 15 feet (Golf Gods, like the
group playing behind him, hate this type more than any other. He will never improve until he changes attitude and outfits).
Golf Gods find their way to other golf games too. I had two experiences of that this weekend. One was on the miniature golf course and the other was dealing with video games. (Yeah, it was an exciting weekend.)
I went putt-putt golfing with the girlfriend Friday night (everyone together… awe, how cute). We made a little wager on the game. Loser buys dinner next week where ever the winner wants to go. Now the girlfriends is actually a pretty good putt-putt-er. She’s good at the playing the angles and is able to make her straight putts. We battled through the first eight
holes all even. After the girlfriend made a big 10-foot putt on No. 8 to stay tied she said, “I’m really good at those putts.”
That’ a no-no in the Golf Gods world. They heard her and got upset about her bragging. You never praise yourself in the middle of round. The Golf Gods showed her just how good she really was at those putts. Over the next 10 holes, she pissed putt after putt of the same kind she was making before her comment. I went on to win by 7 strokes and dinner will be almost as delicious as victory.
Saturday, sitting around the new apartment, my roommate challenged me to a game of Tiger Woods on the X-Box. The roommate went up three strokes after four holes playing as Vijay Singh to my Justin Rose. He went on to comment how bad he was going to beat me and how good he was at the game. If he would have witnessed the girlfriends actions from Friday, he would have know what was coming. The Golf Gods don’t appreciate trash talk like that. It doesn’t matter the
setting, you have to take victory in a humble manner or the Golf Gods will make you pay.
The rest of the front nine I was able cut the lead to one stroke. I opened the back nine birdie, eagle, birdie and soon had a two stroke lead. I laughed at the roommate saying the Golf Gods were punishing him for his cocky attitude. I should have known to keep my mouth shut and let the momentum ride. Of course, I didn’t. I made the mistake of calling out the Golf
Gods and telling them what to do and now it was my turn to be punished by them. I ended up blowing the game and missed a short 8-foot putt on the No. 18 that would have sent the match to a playoff hole. Damn you Golf Gods! Why do you have to be everywhere all the time with everything golf? Oh well. At least I’m getting a dinner out of one of your tirades from the weekend.
